libido Archives - Hormones Matter

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: Hormonal Contraception & Libido

Published on April 4, 2024

5080 views

“If sexuality is one dimension of our ability to live passionately in the world then in cutting off our sexual feelings we diminish our overall power to feel, know, and value deeply.” –Judith Plaskow

This quote raises an interesting question. If owning our sexuality gives us power, then who benefits from limiting that power? And why is limiting that power an acceptable side effect of hormonal contraception?

During the Nelson Pill Hearings, Dr. M. James Whitelaw testified (page 6015): “How many adult males would be willing to take an oral contraceptive faithfully if they were told that instead of a possible 50-plus adverse side reactions only one remained, that being the possible loss of sex drive and libido? [Laughter]”

What is the implication here? Women can be denied their full sexual capability but the idea of men suffering the same is laughable? Holly Grigg-Spall speaks to that in her book Sweetening the Pill (page 50):

“The pill’s impact on the libido has been publicized but it is generally dismissed with humor. The libido is seen as distinct from women’s emotional and physical health, whereas with men it is linked. The female sex drive is not celebrated or seen as essential to her femininity or sexuality… Research that indicates that lowered libido is experienced by a large number of women on the pill is undercut by the cultural assumption that most women have little real interest in sex regardless of this drug.”

Sexy But Not Sexual

And she’s right. Women are constantly told to be sexy but not sexual. It would seem that hormonal birth control would provide exactly that type of woman. One who could have sex without the consequence of getting pregnant, therefore highly desirable to men; but one who could not fully embrace the power of her own sexuality due to a medication-induced lack of libido. Is this really what we want? A society of women that are physically available for sex but completely disconnected from the powers of her own sexuality? Again I will ask, who benefits from keeping women in that robot-like state?

“The quality of a woman’s sex life, unlike that of a man’s, does not seem to concern the drug companies or the (male) research establishment… Women who reported changes in their sex drive often heard that old refrain: ‘It’s all in your head.’ But the male sex drive is considered so important by the drug companies that it is always studied in conjunction with new male contraceptives, just as it is almost always mentioned in arguments against the condom.” –Barbara Seamen in The Doctors’ Case Against the Pill

It’s true. We hear the argument that condoms lessen sensation during sex. But for whom? Men. Yet for women who use hormonal birth control, low libido and loss of sensation during sex are some of the least dangerous side effects they can expect. Heather Corinna put it so well in her article “Love the Glove” that even Grigg-Spall quoted her:

“If we’re going to talk about condoms changing how sex feels, we need to remember that something like the pill does too, and, unlike condoms, it changes how a woman feels all the time, both during and outside of sex… Other methods of contraception can cause pain and cramping, unpredictable bleeding, urinary tract infections, depression and a whole host of unpleasant side effects. Condoms are the LEAST intrusive and demanding of all methods of contraception, even though some guys talk about them — without considering this perspective — like they’re the most. If guys could feel what life can be like on the pill, use a cervical barrier or get a Depo shot, they’d easily see condoms for the cakewalk they are.”

It’s not just the pill that is damaging to women. As Grigg-Spall explains, Depo Provera (“the shot”) is specifically used to decrease sex drive in sex offender rehabilitation programs. There is something seriously wrong when a birth control option offered to women is the exact same medication used as pharmaceutical castration for sex offenders.

FSD – Female Sexual Dysfunction or Female Sexuality Discouraged?

According to a study of female German medical students published today in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, women taking non-oral and oral hormonal contraceptives were at highest risk of Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD). Interestingly, women using non-hormonal contraceptives were at lowest risk for FSD, more than women not using any contraceptive.

“Sexual problems can have a negative impact on both quality of life and emotional well-being, regardless of age,” said researcher Dr. Lisa-Maria Wallwiener of the University of Heidelberg, Germany. “FSD is a very common disorder, with an estimated prevalence of about two in five women having at least one sexual dysfunction, and the most common complaint appearing to be low desire.”

Side Effects – Affecting More Than Just the Patient

Why is this okay? Why do we accept this? If a woman is experiencing sexual dysfunction, it not only affects her but it affects her partner as well.

Dr. Philip Ball testified about this very problem at the Nelson Pill Hearings back in 1970 (page 6493): These unhappily newly married women do not know if it is the wrong man, the wrong town, the wrong job, the wrong year, the wrong apartment, or yet something else, when it is really many times the wrong pill.

And he’s not incorrect. Research now shows that taking birth control pills affects women’s taste in men. According to this article from the Scientific American, women on the pill seem to prefer men who are genetically similar to themselves.

“Women who start or stop taking the pill, then, may be in for some relationship problems. A study published last year in Psychological Science found that women paired with MHC-similar men are less sexually satisfied and more likely to cheat on their partners than women paired with MHC-dissimilar men. So a woman on the pill, for example, might be more likely to start dating a MHC-similar man, but he could ultimately leave her less sexually satisfied. Then if she goes off the pill during the relationship, the accompanying hormonal changes will draw her even more strongly toward more MHC-dissimilar men. These immune genes may have a “powerful effect in terms of how well relationships are cemented,” says University of Liverpool psychologist Craig Roberts, co-author of the August paper.”

How any of this is connected to relationship issues, divorce rate, infertility, one can only speculate. But it’s clear that the sexual side effects caused by hormonal contraception are no laughing matter.

Sex is a big part of life. The ability to connect with each other and derive great pleasure from sex is not just a perk of being a human. It is our birthright. And to deny that birthright is to limit our power as women. That’s not what I consider an “acceptable side effect.”

We Need Your Help

More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

Yes, I would like to support Hormones Matter.

Image by Pana Koutloumpasis from Pixabay.

This article was published originally on July 14, 2016.

Resolving Anorgasmia

by Dr. Mike

Published on June 12, 2019

4574 views

A 76-year-old woman was referred to me by her daughter for health and wellness. After a consultation about arthritis, a sleep issue, and some allergies, she shocked me by saying, “I’ve never had an orgasm. Can you fix that?”

“You have two grown children,” I replied in amazement, “and you’ve never had an orgasm?” “Yes,” she reiterated, “Never!”

Every once in a while, female patients would confide in me that they experienced pain with intercourse. My first question was always, “Have you ruled out any medical problems?” Or, “What does your gynecologist say?” Over the years, I’d had good results with eliminating this pain, but rarely had a woman told me she was unable to have an orgasm. It’s simply not part of the chiropractic routine…or it wasn’t, until now.

Dr. Ruth, I need you!

Anorgasmia is the inability to have orgasm, or regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation. Approximately 25% of women report difficulties with orgasm, and 10% have never had an orgasm. There are several medical causes for anorgasmia, including cardiovascular disease, multiple sclerosis; pelvic trauma (i.e. from a fall or accident); hormonal imbalances or menopause; surgeries or medical procedures (i.e. uterine embolization); childbirth trauma; vulvodynia; and the side effects of medication.

In addition, 40% of women have either complained about sexual dissatisfaction or experienced difficulty becoming sexually aroused at some point in their lives. However, the problem is often not of a physical nature. Men can be part of the problem; some are impatient and don’t realize the timing might be different for a woman; others simply don’t know how to satisfy their mate. In such cases, women often don’t say anything or may even fake orgasm to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings.

On the other hand, anorgasmia can also be caused by performance anxiety on the part of the woman. She may worry so much about the pleasure of her partner that she becomes anxious and unable to relax. This delays orgasm, which creates more anxiety, and so on. Then there is a cause that, when I hear of it, always makes me cringe. It is when a woman tells me she was sexually abused as a child.

Some practitioners believe that inability to have orgasms is caused by an emotional or psychological issue, but my experience is that anorgasmia is a “subconscious energy block,” usually the result of traumatic past experiences. After my patient told me she knew of no medical cause for her problem, I suggested doing kinesiology, a form of muscle testing that I employ to communicate with the body and determine what’s going on. When there is no tangible explanation for a problem, muscle testing can be helpful. Sure enough, within a few minutes, I accessed her as having an energy block. I theorized that if this block was removed, she should no longer have difficulty reaching orgasm.

How do I do this? In my many years as a holistic practitioner, I have learned how to move energy without any force. I do chiropractic without manipulation. Similarly, the treatment for anorgasmia is an extremely gentle spinal tapping procedure called Arthrostim. It uses an electronic pulsing instrument that delivers hundreds of oscillating taps that releases stuck energy. I describe it as acupuncture without the needles.

After two sessions of healing energy, my patient’s wish came true. Her results are not an anomaly, either. Now, when a woman tells me, “I want to have sex, I like sex, but never reach an orgasm,” I first make sure their doctor has ruled out physical problems. If the answer is yes, I then feel comfortable doing this “healing energy” treatment. Usually after a few sessions, any woman can enjoy having orgasms.

To be clear, my approach is a physical release, not “talk it out therapy”; in fact, it rarely involves any discussion at all about what is inhibiting climax. You don’t need medication, exploratory surgery, psychiatric care, mechanical devices, twelve weeks of kegel exercises, mindfulness training, nutritional supplements, or celery juice, which is all the rage these days, but may take a few years to detox the body. An energetic release, on the other hand, is immediate and specific to the area of the body that needs it. If you experience discomfort when making love, or having a climax, just know there is a simple process that will quickly and painlessly put this problem to bed.

We Need Your Help

More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

Yes, I would like to support Hormones Matter.

Image credit: Pexels under Creative Commons CC0.

Sexual Function after Hysterectomy

by WS

Published on January 15, 2018

127008 views

Whether a hysterectomy will affect sexual function is a common concern amongst women considering the surgery, as well it should be. Sex is a vital part of life and the loss of sexual function can be devastating. Whether and how hysterectomy affects sexual function is not very clear, however, and depends upon a number of variables, not the least of which is sexual function pre-hysterectomy, and particularly, pre-gynecologic problems. In many cases, women have a hysterectomy to rectify conditions associated with heavy bleeding and/or excessive pain like fibroids, endometriosis, adenomyosis and cysts. Reducing pain and bleeding should positively affect sexual frequency; however, effects on function may vary. Hysterectomy can diminish sexual function either directly because of the disconnection of the nerves and blood vessels that supply sexual energy or indirectly via the loss of critical hormones when or if the ovaries are removed or cease to function. And for many women, those with endometriosis, the hysterectomy itself provides only temporary relief from the disease process.

When evaluating the possibility of having a hysterectomy relative to sexual function outcomes, there are a few things women must consider.

Understanding the “Anatomy” of Sexual Function

According to Masters and Johnson, there are four phases of sexual response – Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution.

Sensation to any body part requires proper nerve conduction and adequate blood flow. Many nerves, blood vessels, and ligaments are severed to remove the uterus. The uterus and its ligaments themselves are rich sources of blood supply. As a result, sensation to the vagina, clitoris, labia, and nipples can be diminished by hysterectomy. This loss of sensation can hamper sexual function.

The Excitement phase is triggered by sexual stimuli, either physical or psychological. The stimuli triggers increased blood flow (vasocongestion) to the genitalia. With a blood vessel and nerve network altered by hysterectomy, this process may be hampered.

Contractions of the uterus are listed as a part of the Orgasm phase. So without a uterus, orgasm is not complete. Hence, it would make sense that orgasm is negatively impacted by hysterectomy, ovary removal or not. I have read, however, that some women do not experience uterine orgasm. So for them, a hysterectomy may not affect their orgasms.

My Personal Experience Post Hysterectomy

I realized very quickly after my hysterectomy that my libido, arousal, and ability to orgasm were broken. A steamy sex scene in a novel or movie or a hot looking guy no longer elicited sexual feelings. And the thought of sex was repulsive. That was a very sad day for me and I still mourn the loss of my intact sexuality. Some may question whether these changes are really due to the loss of my uterus or more so from the loss of my ovaries. When my hormone replacement was inadequate, the thought of sex was repulsive. However, I did have occasional orgasms but they were difficult to achieve and very infrequent as well as disappointing compared to before hysterectomy. Before my surgery, I had a good libido and an intense uterine orgasm every time I had intercourse. I have been on a good hormone regimen for over 6 years now. Sex is no longer repulsive but I do not have a libido or feel sexual in any way. Arousal takes much longer and orgasms are still weaker than before hysterectomy, do not always happen, and rarely occur during intercourse. Testosterone did not improve libido or arousal nor improve orgasm frequency or quality. Nipple sensation has been absent since surgery. These losses to my sexuality have affected my marriage relationship as well as social and professional relationships as I lack what I would call “sexual energy” and confidence.

Hysterectomy and Sexual Function

Why is it that so many dismiss sexual problems post-hysterectomy as psychological? If a man has his prostate and/or testicles removed or penis shortened (heaven forbid!), sexual problems are attributed to the loss or surgical alteration of his SEX organ(s). So why would it be any different for women?

Although there have been some studies on sexual function after hysterectomy, I have not been able to make much sense out of them. It seems that most use a benchmark of (impaired) sexual function shortly before hysterectomy when gynecologic problems impede sexual activity and function versus prior to the gynecologic problems that are the reason for the hysterectomy. This observational study compared sexual pleasure, activity, and problems by type of hysterectomy at 6 months post-operative. It concluded that “sexual pleasure significantly improved in all patients, independent of the type of hysterectomy.” However, it also concluded that “the prevalence of one or more bothersome sexual problems six months after vaginal hysterectomy, subtotal abdominal hysterectomy, and total abdominal hysterectomy was 43% (38/89), 41% (31/76), and 39% (57/145), respectively.” With these high rates of “bothersome sexual problems” I cannot imagine how this could have been an improvement. However, if the benchmark was based on the time frame when pre-operative heavy bleeding, discomfort, or pain impaired sexual activity and function, then it would certainly be possible for sexual function to improve post-operatively. That does not mean it was an improvement over NORMAL sexual function (pre-gynecologic problems).

This Boston University School of Medicine article discusses post-hysterectomy sexual dysfunction. It says,

“Desire, arousal, orgasm and pain disorders may all be seen post-hysterectomy…..Internal orgasms are often changed significantly after hysterectomy. This is observed in part due to the inability to have rhythmic contractions of uterine muscles without the uterus present. Also, internal orgasms are changed after hysterectomy due to injury to the nerves which pass near the cervix. Surgeons should try to spare these nerves, but efforts to spare them are limited at the present. The result is that after hysterectomy, many women lose the ability to have an internal orgasm.”

Changing the Mindset: Removing a Woman’s Sex Organs Impairs Sexual Function

First and foremost, we need to stop referring to women’s sex organs as reproductive organs since they have vital, lifelong functions far beyond reproduction. In addition to the sexual functions, these include endocrine/hormonal, bladder and pelvic floor and anatomical and skeletal as detailed in my articles and the HERS Foundation’s video.

Secondly, women need to be more open about the effects hysterectomy has had on their health and quality of life, sexual and otherwise. It seems that some do not connect their problems with the surgery and many others choose not to talk about it. Before surgery, we are likely to believe that hysterectomy is fairly harmless since it is such a common surgery (second to c-section). No surgery is harmless. One that removes a woman’s sexual organs cannot help but cause problems with sexual function.

Some other factors that may be in play are that women seem to value their sex lives less than men. We tend to shortchange ourselves in other areas as well, putting others’ needs ahead of our own. Women of older generations were taught to trust and obey authority figures. So we typically trust our doctors and follow their recommendations. We are particularly vulnerable with gynecologists as we tend to have a long history with them through annual well woman checkups and pregnancies and deliveries. We are easy prey for hysterectomy marketing.

Clearly, there are far too many women being harmed by unwarranted hysterectomies and castrations. According to this 2000 study, 76% of hysterectomies do not meet ACOG criteria. Yet the rates have not declined and the use of robotics seems to be fueling even more hysterectomies with promises of quicker recoveries. Hysterectomies are big business with revenues rolling in to the tune of over $16 billion annually. With so much money at stake, we cannot count on the medical establishment to restrain themselves. It is up to us to spread the word.

Does Hysterectomy Affect Sexual Function?

Yes, it does. How can it not, given the nature of the surgical procedure? Whether the effects are generally more negative or positive is not clear. It largely depends on the reason for the hysterectomy including the severity and prolonged nature of those gynecologic problems. There is very little research and even less consideration or conversation regarding women’s pre- and post- hysterectomy sexual functioning. That is something we can change together by sharing our stories and communicating our needs.

Additional Resources

I highly recommend the non-profit HERS Foundation’s video “Female Anatomy: the Functions of the Female Organs.” It taught me most of what I know about the consequences of hysterectomy and/or ovary removal (castration). When I first discovered the video, some of it did not make sense. But as more time elapsed, the changes became clearer. My body and life have changed in ways I never could have imagined. I only wish I had found the video prior to my unwarranted hysterectomy.

We Need Your Help

Hormones Matter needs funding now. Our research funding was cut recently and because of our commitment to independent health research and journalism unbiased by commercial interests we allow minimal advertising on the site. That means all funding must come from you, our readers. Don’t let Hormones Matter die.

Yes, I’d like to support Hormones Matter.

This article was published originally on April 10, 2014.

Hysterectomy Experiences: Loss of Sexuality and Emotional Emptiness

by WS

Published on January 10, 2017

35666 views

Gynecologic surgeries, particularly hysterectomy (uterus removal), oophorectomy (ovary removal) and C-section, are the top overused procedures in the U.S. Only a small percentage of hysterectomies and oophorectomies are considered necessary since gynecologic cancers are rare. According to this JAMA Surgery article on 2007 inpatient procedures, “Two operations on the female genital system, hysterectomy and oophorectomy, accounted for a total of 930,000 procedures (89.3% and 84.6%, respectively, were elective).” These figures do not include the roughly 300,000 outpatient hysterectomies and oophorectomies done in 2007. This graph (graph B) of indications for hysterectomy is a good visual of how few are done for cancer (~50,000). However, it is misleading in that it appears that hysterectomies have steadily declined since it only includes inpatient procedures. Outpatient hysterectomies have steadily increased since about 2002 and reached 40% of these surgeries in 2012, the last year for which I could find data. The 89.3% “elective” rate would indicate that these surgeries are “restorative” or at least harmless, but medical literature and women’s experiences prove otherwise.

A few years ago, I began writing for Hormones Matter about the consequences of hysterectomy and oophorectomy. Year after year, these posts generate tens of thousands of views and hundreds of comments. The comments inevitably follow the same pattern of unwarranted removal of organ(s) without informed consent and ensuing declining health. We are publishing a series of articles highlighting women’s comments. This is the fourth of the series. The first article is about lack of informed consent and can be found here. The second one talks about how our “exterior” settles / collapses after the uterus is removed. The third addresses organ dysfunction.

Although gynecologists typically dismiss women’s concerns about loss of sexuality after hysterectomy, women’s experiences show that it is a common after effect. Many women also report that they no longer feel connected to others and have lost interest in most activities.

The non-profit HERS Foundation did a survey of 1,000 hysterectomized women. These sexual and emotional disconnect / emptiness after effects were reported by a high percentage of women regardless of whether or not their ovaries were removed. Here is a list of those that were reported by more than half of survey respondents:

personality change: 79%
diminished or absent sexual desire: 75%
difficulty relating to and interacting with others: 69%
difficulty socializing: 68%
diminished or absent pleasure with intercourse: 66%
diminished or absent sexuality: 66%
diminished frequency of intercourse: 65%
diminished or absent sensuality: 63%
diminished or absent pleasure with foreplay: 62%
loss of affect: 61%
diminished or absent orgasm: 60%
diminished or absent vaginal lubrication: 59%
diminished or absent sensation in vagina: 54%

The complete list broken out by hysterectomy only, hysterectomy with one ovary removed, and hysterectomy with both ovaries removed can be found here.

Below are comments from some of my articles that are evidence of these after effects.

Chris writes:

“They dole out Viagra so men can sustain their erections but perform hysterectomies that destroy women’s sexuality so who are they using the Viagra with?”

Julia says:

“I personally feel a hell of a lot doesn’t get covered, e.g. scarring, nerve damage,increased chance of prolapse, changes to your sexuality and ability to orgasm as previously use too,hormonal imbalances, weight gain, depression, potential for dehiscence of vaginal cuff (uncommon but does occur) and so on it goes.”

Katrina:

“I can ditto many of the comments made. I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago and it has literally ruined my life! I have no desire for sex when, before the surgery, I loved it and was very active with my husband. Now I have no desire and intercourse is extremely painful so we have virtually no sex life and it is ruining our relationship. It has also changed my appearance and not for the good…. I’m desperate.”

Erin:

“…my boyfriend of 12 years as of Sept 2016 attempted to have intercourse two separate times in which it was painful for myself which was an obvious turn off to him and unsatisfying to him because it felt like he was hitting a hard, scarred, shortened vagina which was a complete turn off for him.… miss terribly the amazing sex life we once had. We have not been intimate for 4 years now. Have no idea if he is faithful to me sexually. I am depressed and miserable knowing what our relationship once was…. thoroughly depressed and feeling anxious and alone… very little self esteem and I feel my whole body and look is different.”

Carla:

“I have the same difficulties and I have not found any solution for me but I now am becoming much better at satisfying my husband with other sexual acts, oral, and anal. While I get very little out of it, he has accepted that we cannot do the things we used to.”

Rhonda:

“I had a hysterectomy at the age of 19. They left one of the ovaries but it no longer works. I’m 46 now and struggle with having the desire to have a healthy marriage with my husband.”

Wendy:

“I had a subtotal hysterectomy thirteen years ago when I was 33. It was 6 weeks after my daughters birth…. I have the most wonderful husband and he has stuck by me. I love him so much but it has changed our relationship…. I am not really interested in intercourse and get about 10% of the feeling I used to. It takes forever to orgasm and emotionally this is hard to accept.”

Wendy:

“I realise that this experience has altered the person that I am. I get panic attacks if I feel out of control- fortunately not often but it is always there. I am also mega determined at times…. My pre baby need to go up the career ladder has gone and I would be happy I the same job to the end of my career now. In so many ways I have changed but whether this is down to my hysterectomy experiences I don’t know.”

Elizabeth:

“I now have experienced a loss in my sex drive and my orgasms are smaller and less often.”

Chris:

“I am 64 and had a full hysterectomy one year ago…. I have suffered through all the problems as everyone else listed here. My husband and I had and unbelievable sex life, I had loads of energy and strength and was able to joke about being “37”. I now feel like and old woman. I want to sleep more then move, I have little strength and our sex life is now that of senior citizens due to my loss of sensation. Before I was multi-orgasmic, now I can barely have one, my clitoris suffers from erectile dysfunction….”

SG:

“I had a hysterectomy 4 years ago.. as part of prolapse surgery..,the gyno desided it was necessary…. My waxing sex drive plummeted and no more big Os for me..now it is a ripple compared to a tsunami. I am now on estrogen patches which do not seem to increase anything.”

Jacqueline:

“I had the same disgusting lied to procedure done to me two years ago. Since then my life has been hell. A living hell. Why do doctors castrate woman? Why? It makes no sense at all. Why do they cut out our sex organs? Why? Why do they disable us?”

Ashley:

“I had a full hysterectomy almost exactly a year ago…. I am struggling a lot with the changes in my body. I never get wet enough or stay wet. The tissue on my vulva is very thin and almost always tears with sex. I can still have an orgasm but it takes much longer. My vaginal ones aren’t as strong and it is almost impossible to have a clitoral orgasm now. My clitoris is tiny. I mean really tiny. I don’t really even think about sex anymore. There is rarely desire or arousal at things that once made me go nuts. I feel broken.”

GPLD:

“After surgery I feel exactly what you described about sex.”

Nora:

“I had a TAH in December. The surgery shortened my vaginal canal by 3 inches. After 27 years of marriage I am unable to have sex. I feel castrated. Can this be reversed? Why are doctors doing this to women? I do not have cancer…. I never knew this could happen. I’ve been using dilators but it’s not helping. I’m feeling hopeless.”

Pat:

“I had total hysterectomy 7 years ago due to fibroids . I still regret having it. I have no libido and sex enjoyment and orgasm is like 30 percent compared to the 100 percent pre TAH. I feel duped because the doctors never mentioned the sex disadvantage…. I wish someone had told me.”

Yolanda:

“I have loss some of my sex drive, but i can still have an orgasm. I have also lost some sensation in my nipples, but not completely.”

Helen:

“Had robotic, total hysterectomy in December. Immediate menopause. No fun. Shortened vagina. No fun. Physical changes to body. No fun.”

BeBe:

“My hysterectomy was necessary due to Essure permanent birth control. One migrated to my uterus and I was sick from that poison in my body that the FDA approved. I’m 11 months post op. Tummy still tender. Hurt the day after sex in the cuff area. And miss the good orgasms. I’m furious at all of this. I’m fatigued. Have migraines and have become very anti-social.”

Sandra:

“Three years ago I had a hysterectomy. They removed one of my ovaries tube and uterus. Since my surgery I have had nothing but negative effects on my life. I no longer want to have sex with my husband. Before I had a great sex life!!”

NJ:

“I am two years post total…. I am heart broken and wish I could turn back the clock… I miss my sexuality so much and I am battling with the sense of disconnect that some have described. I am able to achieve a faint orgasm with a vibrator but it comes and goes so quickly and if I try to lengthen the plateau period then I get a strange painful ache in my somewhat diminished clitoris. I have, I think, scar tissue inside the entrance to my vagina which makes penetration painful to the point that I am apprehensive at the mere prospect of sex.”

S Mc:

“Cant believe what I have read – I match your situation entirely. I feel so let down by my consultant, these changes to my sexuality were never suggested to me. My story is worsened by the fact that I am trying to heal my marriage of 20 years after discovering my husbands long term affair. I feel numb, panic stricken and so very sad.”

Julia:

“I’m now 4 and a half months post hysterectomy and vaginal repairs…. Worst decision ever! A battle with vaginal dryness, burning and ph that constantly changes. Trying to find a lubricant that doesn’t irritate my now fragile tissues is a nightmare. Oestrogen cream currently burns like hell so I can’t use that atm. Oral Oestrogen help but then cause outbreaks of thrush…. My sex life has tanked, sore and lack of sex drive. Today I spent 20 minutes icing my vulva, such is the irritation but at least the swelling has gone down. I use to be an active, strong and sexually fulfilled woman and now I feel opposite.”

Julia:

“Even now it shocks me when a Doctor says you don’t need your uterus or cervix for orgasm. That’s total bs, because I have ‘shallow’ orgasms in the few times I’ve managed sex since ‘that’operation. I desperately miss the old me.”

Karen:

“My heart has literally been breaking as I’ve read these posts and understand how many other women feel the way I do. I had a total hysterectomy five years ago…. He did everything to scare me into having the operation and quickly…. now when things should be perfect I feel like my very soul has been removed. I was such a sexual creature before they took away all my sexual organs and now my very lifeblood has been taken away. As many have already mentioned on this site, the sexual energy, which was a huge part of my being, simply doesn’t exist anymore and when I do feel sexually excited, not only is it a different feeling to before but it’s almost impossible to have an orgasm and it’s not worth the effort to reach a climax as the orgasms are just so insignificant when they do happen. I used to experience the most intense orgasms and even at age fifty one, when I had my operation, I still had the most amazing pleasure from sex so I feel so desolate at the loss of those intense, fulfilling emotions and feelings.”

Linda:

“I had a complete hysterectomy in 1998. Since then, I too have lost something that was VERY important to me as a woman. You described what I’ve gone through..to a T. When I spoke to my doctor who performed my surgery, she had no idea what I was talking about. It is like a death, and I too struggle. I feel robbed, cheated and incomplete as a woman.”

12032003:

“My heart can’t express how I feel reading this article. If I only knew what I know now. They got me, I was only 27 when I got a full hysterectomy…..crying. It was tumor and myth doctor told me the same thing,”

Lisa:

“Eventually, all of these surgeries resulted in a complete hysterectomy about 6 years ago. I have been married to my husband for a year now. Thankfully we were friends for years before we married but I still feel sorry him. He has a healthy sex drive and is very loving toward me. I have absolutely no sex drive and I am completely turned off by the thought of sex, I am attracted to my husband and he takes it so personally when I turn him down, I guess I need to get better at pretending.”

Micah:

“I am 25 I had to have a hysterectomy at 24 after I had my son on June 16,2014.. My husband,is younger then me He is 20 and of course my sex drive no longer exists at all!! We have had sex 2 times this month it is about to cause US to divorce!”

Eme:

“I had a partial hysterectomy its been 1 yr and 3 months I’ve had nothing but pain since then. I’ve noticed if I have an intense orgasm I’m in pain after for hours.”

Denett:

“Hi I am 35 and went a full hysterectomy in Jan.2015. At first it did not seen to be a problem with mys ex life but now it has been 4 months since i have been able to climax. I am a sexual person and love having sex with my husband but don’t know how to explain to him that sex is just not working 4 me anymore. I am still young and I am really sadden and hurt because of it….”

Linda:

“I too had a hysterectomy that could have been avoided. It completed destroyed a very active and important sex life. I have tried all sorts of measures (including hormones) to improve function and though some helped to a small extent, nothing has ever been the same. 7 years later, I am saddened and feel destroyed. I try so hard to maintain some level of intimacy, but there just isn’t enough feeling to make it worth it. I miss my old life, and the closeness I once had. I just feel so hurt that one of the most important aspects of my life was robbed from me by a greedy doctor who just wanted to make money. I would do anything to have my function restored.”

Tanara:

“I had an hysterectomy 04-22-2015, the reason was I was suffering from a prolapse uterus, it actually fell out my vagina so the doctor tells me I need a hysterectomy and now I’m so emotionally cause it was like taking my womanhood away.”

Leigh:

“Sex yup still painful even more so than before days after I hurt.”

Erica:

“I’m 44…. I’m experiencing severe… have no sex drive… I’m an emotional basket case…. I’m so depressed and feel like I’m 80 years old. I’ve been reading all of these comments and it brings tears to my eyes.. I know I’m not alone.”

Michelle:

“when I think back to before my hysterectomy I was a happy bubbly person with a good job, husband etc I changed becoming old tired in constant pain not interested in sex the depression etc the list just goes on and on. I have never been right since…. I have just started in a new relationship and a sex life which is very difficult as I have zero sex drive also worry due to the rectal prolapse, during sex I am experiencing sharp pain that radiates into my hip leg etc and it is now constant I have been on morphine for pain for many years it helps me cope but it is not helping this pain.”

Suz:

“Sex is not the same libido is gone and nipples no longer harden.”

Ginger:

“sex too painful, this surgery ruined my life”

Kat:

“This surgery did great damage to my body and affected changes in my hormone levels, libido, etc. but nothing as drastic as when I had the oopherectomy to remove the second ovary. Since that time, libido has been all but nil…. even with uterus-only removal, you will most likely be left with the issue of no longer having the capacity for uterine orgasms (if you did before), only clitoral. While you can learn to ‘enjoy’ these orgasms, they are much more shallow and sometimes even frustrating.”

Jay:

“If only I could turn back time, I would vastly change my decisions…. I certainly miss my uterus and cervix sexually, with orgasms being a shallow version of what they use to be.”

Karen:

“I had a hysterectomy almost 3 months ago. I hate what has happened to my body. My vagina is not even similar to what I remember. My breasts are so painful I don’t know how to aleviate it. Sex…misery. I feel so alone…. I feel a needling pain in my lower abdomen/vagina.”

Lisa:

“I am reading this in absolute disbelief. I feel heartbroken and sick for any woman that has been falsely led by their doctor and has had their womanhood remove. Those organs make us a woman, they are so much more than just organs, they effect every fiber of our being. I’m so sorry, I really can’t even express myself in words.”

SharonJ:

“The thing is, 4 years post-op and my story is darn near identical to the ones I found here. The endometriosis I had my whole life (I’m now 46) was a cake walk compared to the hell I’m in now!… I have to put Lidocaine inside my vjay 15 mins before sex & then lube just to make love with my husband of 26 years!”

ATH:

“The thought of having sex makes me cringe because I know the kind of pain that will follow. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??”

Rebecca:

“Was advised only option was a total hysterectomy had it on 6th Febuary 2014 recovery ok. Sex life non existent major loss of feeling, weak pelvic floor – leaking pee when exercise, sneeze, rarely laugh. Feel the lowest I have EVER felt in my life….”

Lisa:

“8 months after Hysterectomy, I am miserable…. The Posterier repair is a nightmare. I am too small for my husband and along with the lack of sensation, its not fun at all.. Even after 6 vaginal births, I always enjoyed sex. Though it feels great to my husband, and he is sensitive about my feelings, I have now developed an anxiety about sex.”

Sheli:

“Im 11 weeks post op of my hysterectomy. My doctor… said id have a brand new vagina and be cancer free and id feel like a brand new person. Omg! Exactly the opposite has happened…. at this point, i wish i wouldve never had the surgery even if it meant keeping the cancer. Im a 34 year old… feels like im 90.
3/4 of my vagina has no feeling…. I have to I guess spend the next 20 years trying to figure this thing out. My sex life, relationship with my husband has all been affected by this horrible surgery…. I feel like my life is over. I’m changing and developing new symptoms all the time. My husband is saying I’ve changed since my surgery…. I fear i may lose my husband and with losing myself like i have due to this whole experience of the surgery, its just too much to bear. I feel like nothing and a no body. I don’t feel like a woman anymore. I feel like I’m a disappointment to everyone and don’t know how I’m going to live the rest of my life like this.”

Jake writes:

“My wife and I had a very good sexual component to our relationship and post surgery it is simply not the same – not at all. It is always funny to me how “doctors” tell you everything was/is fine post hysterectomy. I can absolutely tell you that it significantly and permanently damages/destroys the sexual component of a healthy relationship – PERIOD. Don’t bore me with the “well there must be something else wrong… blah blah. My wife and I had a very good sexual component to our relationship and post surgery it is simply not the same – not at all. Think long and hard and then think again before you allow any “doctor” to permanently mutilate your body.”

PS says:

“My wife had a hysterectomy about 18 months ago. We have been married for 24 years and have always had a passionate sex life. Two weeks ago, she informed me that she no longer has romantic feelings for me and has asked that I not make sexual overtures to her of any kind. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I have read this article and feel very strongly that the effects experienced by WS describe what has happened to my beautiful wife. Needless to say, I am devastated. As a 49 year old man, I’ve realized that sex is actually more than sex, it is an intimate connection that forms a bond. That bond is now missing and I’m reeling… I feel an absence of affection not only for myself, but for my children. My two daughters have reached out to me repeatedly saying that they feel a loss of connection with Mom. I’ve had a few weeks to process this, and as time has passed, and as I have thought more and more about what WS has written, I have begun to grieve not only for myself but for my wife. I feel very strongly that a part of her is now missing.”

Joshua:

“I’m unsure how to ask for help but my fiance had a cervical hysterectomy back in January of this year and she seems to be having issues with mood swings sex drive depression and fatigue. I want to help her and be there for her but no matter what I do or say doesn’t seem right. How can I help her? This is cause a very big strain on our relationship. Plz help me help her.”

I caution any woman who is told she needs a hysterectomy and/or oophorectomy or is considering one to heed these comments. With the gross overuse of these surgeries, chances are she’s being sold a false bill of goods. It’s not always a good idea to rely solely on your doctor’s advice as Someone Who Cares cautions:

“After 40 years of enduring this “disabled” existence, it breaks my heart that no matter how many of us try to warn other women, in various ways, the number of these destructive surgeries continues to increase, not decrease.”

A complete list of my articles can be found here. The HERS Foundation is a good resource for understanding the lifelong functions of the female organs. It also has information about gynecologic conditions and treatment options. These two sites, Gyn Reform (especially the studies/citations link) and Ovaries for Life, are excellent resources about the gross overuse and harm of ovary removal or loss of ovarian function after hysterectomy.

We need your help.

Hormones Matter needs funding now. Our research funding was cut recently and because of our commitment to independent health research and journalism, unbiased by commercial interests, we allow minimal advertising on the site. That means all funding must come from you, our readers. Don’t let Hormones Matter die.

Yes, I’d like to support Hormones Matter.

A Kiss Is Just a Kiss or Is It?

by Patricia Mooneyham

Published on April 7, 2014

11177 views

The mind-body connection makes us unique in our sexuality and preferences. As a women’s sexual wellness expert, I work with women on a large variety of issues from frequency disparity, pre-menopausal dryness and communication to understanding how antidepressants affect their libido, finding complementary therapies and understanding erectile dysfunction. While most of my time is spent educating and sharing information about how the mind affects the body (after all the brain is our largest sex organ); sometimes it is just as important to step back and let our bodies inspire us intellectually.

Physiologically we are sexual beings. How else can you explain the clitoris? With 8,000 nerve endings, its sole purpose is pleasure. No wonder 70% of women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation. However, clitoral stimulation involves feeling aroused because it usually doesn’t happen until right before penetration if it is stimulation from a partner. Here lies the problem for so many women. Equal rights, the pill and the sexual revolution came as part of a package that added all kinds of other stress along with the benefits. Unfortunately, for some women the revolution added no real revolutionary thinking when it came to their sexuality.

When I am out sharing the good news about sexual wellness, one of the saddest things I hear from the baby boomer generation is the woman who says “Oh, I don’t need any of THAT. THAT is all out of commission.” My heart goes out to her immediately. In my mind I wonder who could have reduced her to just a reproductive machine, whether she was abused and associates her femininity with the source of the abuse or maybe even that she must tragically still be recovering from the loss of the love of her life. Certainly, it would have to be something so severe as one of these circumstances for someone to believe that sexual health is not important to overall health or to limit their sexuality to only their reproductive capabilities. Sadly, that is not the case. While there are many reasons why a woman may make such a statement; in many cases it is because a woman doesn’t know the benefits of an orgasm or how pelvic floor health can impact other bodily functions. These are important facts that have long been either unknown or not discussed.

The Kissing Connection

As I mentioned earlier while the brain is the largest sex organ in the body; sometimes it doesn’t hurt to not listen to our head and just dive into something that we know works for us physically. While the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, the lips (both male and female) have somewhere around 10,000. This makes the lips quite the erogenous zone in their own right and kissing would be the ideal way to stimulate them. I am often singing the praises of products that are made with mint as a means of encouraging blood flow. I usually talk about kissing when I am explaining why we all seem to lose our head during the throws of puberty. All those new and unfamiliar hormones are stirring and then we add the stimulation of lips against lips and lose sight of everything but the physical. I recently saw a video of an ad on social media that captured total strangers kissing for the first time. The ad went viral because so many people were enthralled with the idea that a first kiss can lead to love. Ultimately everything we do is motivated from love or fear and 95% of everything we do is done by the subconscious. So for those who are struggling with their libido or just can’t seem to get there mentally a little oral exercise such as a passionate kiss can be a magic bullet. The thing about kissing is it can start slow and build momentum. So even if you aren’t feeling sexual, the stimulation with your significant other or your partner of choice can start with a little effort and go a long way.

Kissing Stimulates Blood Flow

Blood flow is the key to arousal and lubrication. Kissing stimulates nerve endings which in turn increase blood flow. Once this cycle begins, the body begins a natural responsiveness and triggers emotional responsiveness in the mind. The mind-body connection is a two way street and while the mind may be the dominant force it is important to never underestimate the physical contributions. A question I find myself asking women who are struggling with a lack of desire and determined to save their relationships is “When was the last time you made out on the couch?” and the question is generally followed by a quiet response of something to do with a lack of time or a repeat of their lack of desire. Time is the great equalizer. We all have the same amount each day in our account. I am amazed how there is time for everything else, but not for something as good for us as sex. My next step is to challenge them. The next time they feel insecure about their relationship, because of their lack of desire for sex; their challenge is to “make out” for at least fifteen minutes. I coach them about starting slow and innocent and building until they are out of breath. (Keep in mind I am not a doctor. These conversations come after I know whether this person is on medications under a doctor’s care, or am assured we shouldn’t be looking for medical assistance or if there is a need for a therapist.) Of course after the challenge, I work on helping them understand why this exercise can help them and some of the biological reasons behind it. The challenge itself is met with a wide variety of responses. I hear everything from an insecure laugh to outright refusal. Of course the receptiveness determines the next course of action and everyone is slightly unique in how we proceed; because we are all unique.

Sealed with a Kiss

What is important to remember is emotional fulfillment is one of the three reasons we have sex. Kissing inspires some of those emotions that we are looking to fulfill such as passion, intimacy, sensuality and desire. Kissing also allows us to warm up to the idea and if for some reason after kissing for a while one doesn’t feel sexual arousal there is still the ability to decline further sexual activity. This is very important for women who are struggling with a lack of sexual desire. It is not as easy to change course if you start out initiating sex and then change your mind and decline. Since kissing can stand as an activity all on its own; if it goes no further than an oral exchange there is no harm. From the feedback I receive, it is often successful in leading to more. One of the things I hear from men who are in relationships with women struggling in this area is the negative impact obligatory sex has on their self image. No one wants to feel as if sex is an obligation. Of course communication is key in all relationships; however there is a lot to be said for learning to effectively use body language. When trying to overcome issues with libido, what better way to communicate to your partner than with your lips?

About the author: Patricia Mooneyham is a Jersey girl on global mission to help women be happier. She is a practitioner of complementary therapies and is passionate about helping women find happiness by defining their own sexuality. For the last several years she hosted the I’ll Have What She’s Having Online Radio Show. Her website: PatriciaMooneyham.com.

We Need Your Help

More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

Yes, I would like to support Hormones Matter.

Photo by zelle duda on Unsplash.

Sex in a Bottle: the Latest Drugs for Female Sexual Desire

by Chandler Marrs, PhD

Published on June 10, 2013

23748 views

The 21^st century quest for female sexual satisfaction comes not from romance, courting or even Kama Sutra type sexual prowess, but from the lab. Forget passion, forget lithe bodies moving rhythmically, forget needing to woo a woman, forget having any skill whatsoever in bed; why bother with any of that when you can get sex in a bottle. Every man’s dream right? Apparently, not. Sexual moirés what they are, there is nothing more frightening than a sexually hungry woman. With the newest, and dare I say, pharmacologically most interesting female desire drugs in clinical trials, concern over the potential explosion of female nymphomania is palpable. According to the New York Times reporter covering the story:

“…what if, in trials, a medicine proved too effective?” laments one scientist … and the FDA rejects “an application out of concern that a chemical would lead to female excesses, crazed binges of infidelity, societal splintering.”
“You want your effects to be good but not too good,” says Andrew Goldstein, who is conducting the study in Washington. “There was a lot of discussion about it by the experts in the room,” he said, recalling his involvement with the development of Flibanserin, “the need to show that you’re not turning women into nymphomaniacs.”

And women, well, they’re not sure whether to jump for joy about the new drugs or bear arms against the 18^th century misogynist perspective of female sexuality. I’m pretty certain no one worried about turning men into sex-crazed cads, the 8-hour Viagra induced erections or the potential blindness from said erections. (Fun fact: the same erection promoting enzyme blocked by erectile dysfunction drugs Viagra, Cialis, Levitra is also found in the retina and when blocked excessively can cause blindness). When all was said and done, a good, solid erection was considered beneficial in and of itself, no matter the cost. Lo, get those women going and watch out. Sex crazed and hysterical, they might upset generations of cultural oppression. Unless, of course, it’s used to maintain the monogamy and monotony of marriage, then by all means pop a libido pill.

The Quest for Female Sexual Desire in a Bottle

Sexual politics aside, these new sexual arousal drugs portend great things for the bedrooms of many. Though developed for women, I suspect they will be cross-marketed to men, almost immediately.

Called Lybrido and Lybridos, the two compounds address sexual desire both above and below the belt. These drugs combine a sexy mix of peppermint coated, testosterone to make you horny, coupled with the erection promoting, genital-blood-flow increasing Viagra (Lybrido), plus a boost of adrenaline with an indirect dopamine kicker (Lybridos). If that isn’t a chemical cocktail to promote copulation, I’m not sure what is. It is Lybridos that intrigues me most and here is why.

Motivating the Brain to Want Sex

Sex begins in the brain and there dopamine is king. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter released with all pleasurable activities, licit and illicit. Our brains are hardwired to seek pleasure via the dopamine reward system. Experience a little pleasure, get a boost of dopamine. Get too much dopamine and addictive behavior or psychosis ensue. Too little dopamine and there is no pleasure and no motivation to seek pleasure.

Adding a bit of dopamine to a hormonally primed and engorged sexual response system would seem to facilitate not only the pleasure response associated with the sexual act itself, but would likely increase the chances that future goal directed behavior would be initiated to sustain or repeat the sexual activity – and to take the drug again. And that is why this drug is so cool, but also, potentially addictive.

A Sex Drug and Sex Addiction

Though the crude and frankly misogynist comments about inducing nymphomania warrant scorn, there is a very real possibility that this cocktail could be addictive. Think about it, combining the pleasure of sex with a boost of dopamine is the perfect addiction. Really, who wouldn’t want to have hot sex, repeatedly. And if taking a small dose of the drug increases sexual pleasure to certain degree, then would taking more of the drug increase the pleasure to a greater degree? Can someone overdose on these drugs? (You know someone will try). Conversely, if one takes the drug repeatedly, does the dose necessarily have to increase to maintain the same level of pleasure?

Because Lybridos enhances sex, a pleasurable, dopamine and endorphin releasing activity in its own right, by increasing dopamine while simultaneously enhancing libido and genital sensitivity, the possibilities for addiction are high. Therein lies the rub. Not only could this be the perfect combination of behavioral and pharmacological addiction, but pleasurable sex threatens every puritanically ingrained, social moire we have, for men and women. Create a drug that makes sex more pleasurable, make that drug and that behavior addicting and social structures will change. Perhaps, not such a bad thing.

Hormones Matter

Where health, hormones, and a whole bunch of other stuff, make sense.

libido

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: Hormonal Contraception & Libido

Sexy But Not Sexual

FSD – Female Sexual Dysfunction or Female Sexuality Discouraged?

Side Effects – Affecting More Than Just the Patient

We Need Your Help

Resolving Anorgasmia

We Need Your Help

Sexual Function after Hysterectomy

Understanding the “Anatomy” of Sexual Function

My Personal Experience Post Hysterectomy

Other Possible Sexual Sequelae Post Hysterectomy

Hysterectomy and Sexual Function

Changing the Mindset: Removing a Woman’s Sex Organs Impairs Sexual Function