gardasil pain

One More Day – A Day in the Life Post Gardasil

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My head feels strange, like I might have a seizure today. It is difficult to explain, but Mom seems to understand what I mean. She tries to get my breakfast made as quickly as possible. My legs are so unstable so decide to sit in my favorite recliner – maybe watch one of the shows I recorded while my food is being made.

The pain in my head, the pressure especially is worse right now. Brain fog is preventing me from understanding what is going on in the program. Thankfully, Mom arrives with my scrambled eggs, gluten free English muffin, grapes, mint tea. She knows my stomach is not the greatest, but I am hungry!  She sits with me for a few minutes while we eat. We talk a little but my mind isn’t thinking so clearly. That weird feeling in my head is worse. As Mom heads back upstairs with my tray I ask her for some sparkling water for my stomach.

The blinding pain hits me like a white-hot knife cutting through my head. It is a searing series of jolts, like I am being electrocuted multiple times. Mercifully, an inky blackness spreads over me and everything goes dark.

Even though I’m pretty sure I’m still on the recliner I am only vaguely aware of choking on the foam that has risen in my throat during the seizure. I can feel Mom trying to wipe my mouth with a tissue. She lets me tug it from her hand to clear my mouth better. It hurts incredibly to move, but I need to get to bed. The pressure is worse in my head now.

The weird sensation is rising from my stomach into my head. Have to tell Mom, but my vocal cords are frozen. I’m blind as well from the first seizure. Even my hearing is gone. All I can do is make motions with my hands, but Mom understands enough to lower the recliner, ease me forward, then slowly get me to my feet. It’s a struggle to do any of it but will my body to stand. Oh, how I wish my legs would cooperate! They are weak, trembly, unsteady. Can’t blame them, they have very little feeling left from mid-thigh down. Mom slides my arms around her shoulders, then leads me to my bed – Slowly, Mom, legs are protesting, my mind tries to shout. After what seems like forever we reach my bed. Mom helps guide my hands to the edge, helping me find the blessed pillows. It’s so hard to lift my legs, but finally I’m safe on the mattress, before another seizure hits.

I have no idea how long I’ve been lying in bed when my consciousness returns. Without vision, hearing or speech it is impossible to know anything safe for the new levels of pain that run from my head to my upper thighs. Everything is achingly tender. I flinch when Mom gently strokes my ear. She pulls her hand away not knowing how to comfort me. While attempting to sign to her I discover the blood pressure cuff is still on my arm – It hurts! Must have whimpered because Mom quickly got it off.  I sign again to the open air, hoping Mom will understand. She gives me her hand so I can spell out short words. She squeezes my hand once – Yes! She understands my request! (We worked out a system to communicate when all of my other senses flee after a seizure. Squeeze once for Yes, squeeze twice for No. And when my confusion clears enough we spell into each other’s hand to ask or answer questions.)

After giving me a drink to clear my throat, Mom lets me rest – I truly need rest to recover. My body won’t cooperate, needing a trip to the bathroom. After locating the wall by my bed, I begin to knock. I don’t know how loud it is, but Mom is quickly by my bed. She holds my hand to let me know, but I flinch again from the pain. That hand is swollen a bit as well. Mom waits for me to sign, which is easy this time. She gently guides me to and from my destination; helping me as best she can. Finally back in bed, she signs into my left hand to rest. Wish my hearing would release – I need to listen to my ocean CD. It is so relaxing.

After lying in my bed a few minutes, aching from the seizures, my hearing suddenly returns. Silent tears slide down my face unbidden, but I can’t help it. Every time my senses begin to return, there is relief, joy, thankfulness. Knocking on the wall again, Mom returns, but I can hear her softly speaking, praying for me. When I respond she is also relieved that my hearing returned. She immediately turns on my ocean waves CD. She whispers she loves me, then allows me to drift fitfully to sleep.

Several hours later I awake, realizing immediately that my vision is returning. It isn’t the greatest, but I have color and can distinguish objects. My legs are a little less wobbly so I can get my own water. Eventually I can get out of bed, go up to the kitchen to see my mom. She is surprised that I’ve negotiated the steps on my own, giving me a smile and a gentle hug. My body feels I have been in the fight of my life, tender, aching, sore, but my head pressure is improved some. The weird sensation is almost gone. Mom notices one of my eyelids is drooping, but it’s hard to miss. She just smiles, then asks me if I’m hungry. Since my voice hasn’t returned I sign in a little while. After I get a glass of mint tea, Mom helps me back down to the family room. My vision still isn’t the greatest but I can watch Duck Dynasty! The show makes me laugh which I desperately need until supper.

My stomach isn’t doing the best right now; ate something with gluten a couple of days previous, so I’m paying for it. Mom has given me several choices for supper, but nothing sounds good. My dad had just finished eating, giving me a soft kiss on the forehead. He has to go to a meeting at church, so he can’t linger but a few minutes. How I miss our dates we had while growing up! It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to have dinner and a movie night. I smile at my dad, trying not to let him see my pain. The Gardasil injury has been very hard on both my parents. Not an easy thing to live with, but this is my life now.

Mom finally makes me quinoa with chicken and organic veggies – it tastes good so digesting will be easy, I hope. After watching a movie with mom I decide to take a shower. Couldn’t get my IV today, but I’m very determined to go tomorrow! Mom isn’t crazy about the idea, but lets me know she will be close by. I am thankful that I can do this much finally, but knowing she’s close if I need help is reassuring. After my second dose of Gardasil, Mom had to bathe me, feed me, help me in and out of my wheelchair. Six years later I’m doing some things on my own again!

During my shower I begin to overheat. Reducing the water temperature isn’t helping. My head and stomach are way too hot now, so I quickly shut off the water, open the door while trying to call for mom. Even with the door wide open, my towel is too hot as well. As the waves of nausea strike, I grab my trash can. Mom arrives as I lose my super.  My body really seems to hate me, though my voice has unexpectedly returned!  At least something positive has just happened! Wobbly legs and trembling arms prevent me from drying off quickly. With Mom’s help though, I’m partly dressed by the time I hit my bed. My face is on fire from the flaming nerve endings that bloom on my body randomly. The nausea is pretty bad, but mom fans me best she can. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the flame in my face and stomach fades. I’m still trembling from the exertion but at least I’m not tossing my cookies. Mom gets me something for my stomach, Bromelain – best thing I’ve ever tried for nausea! It settles my stomach to the point I can finish getting ready for bed. Thank you, Lord, for getting me through one more day. Tonight, hopefully I will sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day…

Brittney and Roxie Fiste

To read more about Brittney’s Gardasil injury: One Less After Gardasil.

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Before and After Gardasil

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On January 29th, 2011, I went to a gynecological appointment with my fiancé to discuss birth control pills and get my first set of HPV Gardasil vaccinations. I believed the vaccine was important. I personally had never taken the time to research vaccinations or Gardasil. I believed it was a part of the ‘healthcare’ system.  I had seen the commercials and wanted to be ‘one less girl’ affected by cervical cancer. I didn’t know the ingredients, the real statistics on HPV, cervical cancer, or even how long it had been studied and tested. I knew nothing about the vaccine but trusted my doctors.

My Health before Gardasil

Prior to that visit, I had been dealing with spine issues and pain since I was a teenager. In October of 2010 I had another injury that put me out of work and aggravated my spine issues. I was prescribed heavy doses of muscle relaxers.  I had been taking those medications for the six months prior, but had weaned myself off a couple weeks before my Ob/Gyn checkup. The muscle relaxers were causing gastrointestinal (GI) complications in my body, exacerbating GI issues I already had. I thought this appointment would be beneficial and I was happy I had weaned off muscle relaxers two weeks prior. I was hoping to keep what small progress I had going.

My First Gardasil Injection

Within the first few days and for the week after the Gardasil shot, I was bedridden and sick with what we thought was a bad flu. It was also possible I was having a reaction from the muscle relaxer withdrawal or the side effects of my newly prescribed birth control pills. I stopped taking the birth control pills after eight days and my symptoms worsened.

My mother and fiancé remember the physical changes when I wasn’t feeling well, but those few days after Gardasil have blurred together for me. I was so sick. The next days, weeks and months to come, I experienced the worst nausea, weakness and most severe pain in every crevice of my stomach and body that I have ever felt in my life. Even the other stomach sensitivities and spine/back issues I had experienced previously paled in comparison to what happened to me after getting Gardasil.

The Doctors

We went to every doctor appointment and tested everything we possibly could. The tests kept coming back ‘fine’. (Ironically, they never tested for heavy metal poisoning, which we found later I had. If any doctor would have known those symptoms, I had nearly all of them, perhaps I wouldn’t have suffered for so long.) None of the doctors said there could be any connection with Gardasil, but we suspected otherwise. In fact, most told us just the opposite; that my symptoms were definitely not caused by Gardasil. It was not until blood tests taken outside of my doctor’s office nine months later that we discovered the toxic stress, heavy metal poisoning and other toxins were filtering through my bloodstream. (Gardasil ingredients included; we finally connected it with certainty here.)

The Pain and Nausea

During this period of many months, for twenty four hours a day, every moment of my life, I was nauseas, sick to my stomach and alternating puking. I could not drink water or eat anything without getting sick. Digesting anything was extremely painful. It hurt to move, to walk or to do anything. I could not even wear jeans around my waist for seven months because of how painful my stomach felt. I discovered new levels of dizziness. I was losing weight rapidly, up to 15 pounds a month, with limited activity.

Nicole Alexandra Before and After Gardasil
Left: me in December 2010, one month before Gardasil. Right: a year and a half later, July 2012 after the extreme weight loss post Gardasil.

I tried to focus and meditate healing into my body to counteract what was happening. I lost 100 pounds within that first year and a half. My diastolic blood pressure dropped to the 50’s/40’s. It used to be consistently around 120’s/60-70’s. My hair fell out at the rate of my weight loss – quickly. Even my tongue turned a grey black color in the center, and my eyes turned a slight yellow.

The most challenging and embarrassing issues were the gastrointestinal problems, which were each horrifying on their own. Every time I had to use the restroom, it made me more ill than I already felt, and the pain I experienced is something I will never forget. The pain in my stomach and body was disorientating. It physically hurt everywhere. I struggled focusing, verbalizing my anxiety or frustrations because I was feeling so toxic in my own body. I was in more pain, more exhausted and more fatigued than I had ever felt. It was often overwhelming and uncomfortable, especially trying to sleep with comfort or ease. Meanwhile through all of this, I was told by my doctors that I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and to go on a whole grain diet. That was the only advice they had for us, after all my symptoms, IBS. We knew we needed other help and resources.

Family Support

My family focused all of their efforts into helping me any way they could. I was already seeing an acupuncturist outside of my insurance every week and she was documenting my progressing issues as time went on.

We bought vitamins, herbs, protein powders, digestive enzymes, probiotics, and fiber supplements to treat IBS issues. We began the first of many dramatic diet changes to facilitate gut healing. After months of using these products, they were helping on a small scale by not making things feel worse, with some slight benefits. The nausea and pain were still constant. My back and whole body were amongst the most excruciating pains and because of the pain, my mobility, energy and strength were limited. As the months went by, I became further immobilized. I walked as much as I was able. I tried swimming during the summer, but it exacerbated my pain greatly. My physical therapist told me, “This was as good as I was going to get.” We didn’t stick around with her after that.

Out of Desperation

We were at our tip of desperation after I returned from a two day trip with my fiancé. We went out of town to see friends. It was traveling, something I hadn’t done during this year of many changes. We were trying to make it work even with my health complications. It was wonderful seeing my friends, but my body could not recover from exhaustion after returning. We sought additional help. The physicians we saw during this time had not helped, many would not help and denied my symptoms. It was my acupuncturist, who stuck with us and tried to heal me. She gave me the name of a chiropractor in the area. It was worth a try.

Chiropractic Health

One of our biggest blessings through this chaos was finding chiropractic care and meeting my chiropractor, Dr. McKillican. He recognized the crisis my health and nervous system were in and was the first sincere and genuine doctor that strived to help us. A chiropractor was not on any of my insurance or among the recommendations suggested to me, ever. In fact, I was advised to stay away from them earlier in life. I know with my whole being that chiropractic saved my life, especially during this crucial time of disease and sickness. I have been getting weekly adjustments for nearly two years, beginning seven months after getting Gardasil. Chiropractic adjustments have made significant and dramatic improvements in healing and strengthening my nervous system and body. Regular adjustments work on our nervous system to remove nerve interference within us and to promote the body’s natural ability to heal itself.

 Vital Hematology and Nutrition

Nine months after Gardasil, I worked with a vital hematologist to detoxify my body naturally. We used a focused diet that included: juicing specific veggies, fruits, herbs, multiple vitamins, digestive enzymes, colloidal silver, olive leaf extract, glutathione, aloe vera juice. This regime greatly helped with my unbearable, chronic nausea.  It seems to have reduced the intensity of pain throughout my stomach. I have had significant improvements in GI health.

This past year I also began working with a nutritionist to deal with the continuous mending needed to repair my GI issues, adrenal dysfunction, energy, appetite/food challenges and over all internal damages. I am thankful beyond words for the healing I’ve experienced, and despite the pain and the many challenges I have faced post Gardasil, my body is mending at the rate it can.  I use my energy to focus on this.

Two Years Post Gardasil

The issues I am still working on healing and mending are different two and half years after Gardasil are the autoimmunity changes. These include:  gastrointestinal issues, body pain, appetite dysregulation and the ability to eat enough, malabsorption of nutrients, low blood pressure and dizziness, energy, sensitivity to cold temperature and chemicals.

Food and my appetite can be very overwhelming sometimes.  I often don’t want or have the desire to eat or I get full too quickly. I also get really hungry all at once, often unexpectedly and painfully. The food and appetite issues are a constant work in progress that is still very complex. They have become somewhat easier to work with now than in the years before. I find focusing on ratios of carbs, fats and protein I need helps. I have also eliminated foods with gluten, GMO or that are processed. I no longer eat foods that are spicy or acidic either. I eat raw organic veggies only juiced because my GI tract cannot tolerate the un-juiced vegetables.  I watch my sugar intake, including many fruits, and other foods that I am sensitive to. I eat whole foods, organic vegetables and fruits, good fats (butter and coconut oil have helped immensely here) and as much healthy, grass fed, organic protein and protein shakes as my body needs to be balanced. All this has helped substantially.

My healthy lifestyle is vital to keep my progress going. With nutrition, vitamins, medicinal herbs, supplements, regular chiropractic adjustments, removing as many toxins from my environment, and adding as much movement, exercise, walking or stretching as I can, I am slowly improving. I also use coffee enemas and drink alkalized water (and lots of it). My body now seems to be on the path it needs to recover from the atrocity that Gardasil caused. Every day is different with pain and energy levels, but I focus on the blessings, because I know how much worse it can be.

The Support of My Family

It has taken a substantial amount of money, time and sacrifices from my extraordinary mother and fiancé to care for me post Gardasil. Without them, none of this progress could have been possible. I am more grateful and humbled than ever to be alive and for all the amazing, most abundant love and support of people I’m blessed to share my life with. I could not have come this far without these wonderful people.

Gardasil changed my health, my life, and family’s lives forever; physically, mentally emotionally, financially, and educationally. What I can give and share with others through this experience is the truth, my experiences, and the real facts and statistics regarding Gardasil. I plan to do this until this vaccine exists no more.

Participate in Research

Hormones MatterTM is conducting research on the side effects and adverse events associated with Gardasil and its counterpart Cervarix. If you or your daughter has had either HPV vaccine, please take this important survey. The Gardasil Cervarix HPV Vaccine Survey.

To take one of our other Real Women. Real Data.TM surveys, click here.

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A Day in the Life of Alexis Wolf: Six Years After Gardasil

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Alexis is now 20 years old. Six years have passed since her first injection of Gardasil. Life has changed drastically since then. After the Gardasil vaccine, Alexis developed encephalopathy, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and a horrible seizure disorder that has yet to be controlled. Read the first part of Alexis’ Gardasil journey here.

Post Gardasil Brain Injury

Alexis’ brain injury post Gardasil is in the frontal lobe. This part of the brain controls so much of who we are. This has left Alexis with the mental capacity of about an 8 year old. She gets very confused easily and struggles with short term and long term memory so she requires constant supervision with frequent redirection on everyday tasks. Her skill level of preparing meals for herself and daily personal hygiene is almost nonexistent. She can no longer take showers due to the danger of having a seizure and falling. I have to help her take a bath and make sure she gets clean. I have to assist in washing her hair to make sure it gets clean. I also have to get her clothes ready for her. She can usually dress herself with little assistance.

Post Gardasil Bowel and Bladder Problems

Since receiving Gardasil, Alexis progressively lost bladder and bowel control.  She has to wear adult diapers.  Sometimes she will put her fingers inside her anus to try to help herself go #2. Although we have discussed this with all of her doctors and with her, telling her it is very dangerous for her and everyone one else, she cannot control herself. We make her wash her hands OFTEN. I wipe things down with Lysol wipes OFTEN.

Post Gardasil Pain

Alexis has often expressed frustration, depression and suicidal thoughts as to her present life and her future. She can be swift to anger and have great mood swings. She will slam doors, throw things, spit at us and call us a variety of cuss words. She is miserable most of the time. She complains about pain constantly. We have been turned away by three different pain specialist because they review her records and tell me she is “too complex” for them to treat. The only thing she has to help her with the pain is medical marijuana in the form of tinctures and vapors. When her head hurts really badly she will hit her forehead with the palm of her hand and say “brain get better, brain get better…” She also complains about all over body aches, sharp pains in her chest, joint and muscle pain. She will tell us that everything looks scary, strange and unusual even herself. The best description she was able to give us was that it looked like the walls were melting and people looked like cartoons. I had to take her out of high school for the above reasons. Her teachers were not very patient with her and they would push her buttons so one day she hit one of her teachers in the arm. The school called the police so I took her out of school.

Post Gardasil Seizures

Alexis’ speech patterns can often digress to repetitive statements over and over. This occurs without the knowledge that she is engaged in that behavior. Her motivation level is very low due to her brain injury. Getting her to do anything is quite the struggle. Almost every task is labored and takes lots of patience from the person helping her. Often at times she will flat out refuse to move and begs to take a nap. She naps off and on all day every day. We really do not know how long she sleeps at night but we think it is no longer than two hours at a time. The seizures happen all the time and they wake her up while she is sleeping. She is usually unable to fall back to sleep, so she wanders the house and searches for food. She has horrible impulse control and she is not able to tell if she is full or not. We have to keep the fridge and the pantry locked up at all times so she does not eat herself into a coma. If she eats a full meal and then has a seizure she will forget that she has just eaten and she begs for food saying that she is starving. We also lock up her medications because she will forget that she has taken them and try to take more even though I store them in those daily dose medicine boxes. She can have many, many seizures in a day. She takes anti-seizure meds and she also has a device implanted in her chest called a VNS therapy. It is supposed to reduce or stop her seizures but so far we have not really noticed a difference. She has had it for 3 years and soon she will be due for a battery replacement that will require another surgery. The battery should have lasted 5-10 years but the doctors have made so many adjustments on the therapy levels that the battery only has a few months left of power.

Alexis having a Seizure in 2010

Six Years and Counting

In the past six years we have had to deal with many people who do not understand the side-effects of the Gardasil vaccine. We have been accused of horrible things. We have had to endure being investigated by Child Protective Services, Adult Protective Services, police, detectives and more. Family, friends and neighbors have turned their heads and left us behind. Alexis’ father has not spoken to her in two years and all the help he had once offered is nonexistent. The government services that should support Alexis and her brain injury are bogged down so she is on a waiting list of over 40,000 people. I was told she MIGHT get services in 2019 when her name comes up next on the list. The way things have been going it is possible that all money and services may dry up and go away before her name even comes up.

Alexis’ inability to live independently will require lifelong care and assistance. I worry all the time about what will happen to her when I am no longer able to care for her. Every day new challenges arise so I can never put down my guard. I have been told by at least two doctors that I should look into some sort of institutional assisted living facility, but I cannot wrap my mind around that just yet. Life is quite different than it was six years ago, before Gardasil. Six years ago Alexis was a normal 14 year old. Starting to wear make-up and get interested in boys…working hard in school and enjoying honor roll. She had her whole life ahead of her and now she spends every day in a living hell filled with pain and misery, begging to be better, begging everyone to pray for her.

Six years ago, before Gardasil, life was very different.

Alexis Wolf before Gardasil
Alexis Wolf, age 14, before her first Gardasil injection.

 

Alexis Wolf after Gardasil
Alexis Wolf, age 20, six years after Gardasil.

 

Participate in Research

Hormones MatterTM is conducting research on the side effects and adverse events associated with Gardasil and its counterpart Cervarix. If you or your daughter has had either HPV vaccine, please take this important survey. The Gardasil Cervarix HPV Vaccine Survey.

To take one of our other Real Women. Real Data.TM surveys, click here.

To sign up for our newsletter and receive weekly updates on the latest research news, click here.