Paying for Vaginal Tightness

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If you’re not busy enough worrying about your weight, facial hair, and armpit odor, you can add vaginal tightness to the mix. Is your vagina tight enough?

Well, yes, kegels are free, but Jezebel humorously notes that free is not good enough, and neither is a saggy vagina. India is now promoting a gel, “18 Again,” that will make women “feel like a virgin.” Though this gel is marketed as a way to empower women, I imagine the ones profiting from this product are the men, because, quite frankly, I wasn’t enjoying sex as much when I first lost my virginity; and clearly, I experienced limited sexual enjoyment as a virgin.

If America is going to compete, we need to make a tightening gel that really draws the female base, because vaginal tightness as a virgin may be a bit too tight. We do want to enjoy ourselves, after all. Vaginal tightness post-birth, on the other hand, may be too loose.

The American vaginal-tightening gel should create a product that will tackle this Goldilocks complex so American women can boast that they have a gel that tightens their vaginas until it’s “just right.”

Would you pay for vaginal tightness?

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