depression

Familial Beriberi: Discovering Lifelong, Genetic, Thiamine Deficiency

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In 2017, at the age of 52, I had an unexpected call from my new doctor informing me “I know what’s wrong with you! Come to my office now!” Lifelong increasing chronic fatigue and untreatable Hashimoto’s thyroiditis were my chief complaints.

Past doctors prescribed high dose thyroid medication, which made me feel worse. An autoimmune diet kept me trim but provided no energy. I read adenosine triphosphate (ATP) is required for thyroid production, though ATP isn’t discussed in treatment. Baggage from Effexor and an adverse childhood were also contributors to my health.

Desperate, every relevant supplement and thyroid medication on the market, I tried. Only two were effective. GABA relaxed me, and d-ribose cured my depression 100%. I became bubbly. My personality changed, but after four weeks they both stopped working. Amour thyroid lifted my brain fog for a week. Then, I had side effects. Eventually, I would learn that I, and many members of my family, across several generations, had beriberi or thiamine deficiency. In my case, I had a defect in a key thiamine transporter that made getting sufficient thiamine from diet all but impossible. Unfortunately, I did not learn this crucial information, until I was in my fifties, after years of illness and suffering.

Women’s Issues and Unrelated Problems Begin

While my problems began decades earlier, they seemed to hit a crescendo as I hit menopause. The HRT patch relieved hot flashes, only to fuel a fruit-sized fibroid that split in half with one part covering my rectum. A GP prescribed colon therapy causing severe leg cramps and constipation. A fibroid ablation enabled normal bowel function. Afterward, ozone baths caused my bowel function to stop and I developed air hunger. An ENT said, “you don’t have sleep apnea, there’s another system in your body that is causing air hunger.” He recommends a university clinic over going to different specialists.  I pursued genetics.

Starting to connect my cognitive decline, prediabetes, and depression in my grandparents to myself, I went to the MTHFR expert that wrote the report.  Her extensive 15-page genetic/supplement report offered no results. After failed treatments from endocrinologists, functional doctors, and big-name clinics like Mercola, I took a chance on Orthomolecular Medicine.

Discovering a Familial History of Beriberi

On the day I was diagnosed with thyroid treatment failure, I found a nutrient interaction article and had a light bulb moment, I’m missing a nutrient for thyroid production. I went to the author, the late Dr. Richard Kunin, San Francisco’s legendary go-to doctor for solving mystery illnesses through nutrients. He was a pioneer in antioxidant therapies, utilizing diet, nutrient and genetic testing since the seventies.  His orthomolecular research was the first to verify the use of a mineral therapy in a drug-induced disease.

When his door flung open, I saw wisdom. A rare commodity. Here was this brilliant doctor and a poster of his early collaborator Linus Pauling, staring down at me. Dr. Pauling coined the term orthomolecular meaning “the right molecule in the right amounts.” A doctor like this comes once in a lifetime and I handed him my three-inch binder.

A true scientist, he was able to assess my biochemical individuality, in two sessions.

In the doctor’s intake, the first clue is asking what my parents ate. They ate both Chinese and Western foods, which seemed like no big deal. After lab results, he searches through 300 genes, to find the biggest picture, the gene. Instead of trying to treat multiple gene defects with a supplement. He addresses the root cause first.

He announces, “You’re deficient in thiamine,” and gives me the SNP, called Transporter 2 (SLC19A3) which provides instructions for making a protein called the thiamine transporter, which moves thiamine into cells. Over time, the transporter dissolves.

I had thiamine and asparagine deficiency and riboflavin and glutathione borderline deficiency. The thiamine or vitamin B1 deficiency caused the other deficiencies, but he stays on point and discusses thiamine and only thiamine. He prefaces the session with a history of beriberi and birds fed white rice.  Looking back, it’s rudimentary B1 history, but as a patient stuck in the Hashimoto’s/Adrenal Fatigue paradigm for so long, my mind went blank. I remained silent, I didn’t know if I could die from it.

To make matters more confusing. I had stopped taking thiamine after an OATS showed B1 adequacy.

When he told me I can’t convert energy from food, I thought how absurd. He reminded me “the bottom line is how well you absorb the thiamine; not how much I tell you to take”. A Meyer’s Cocktail IV is an initial part of treatment. The next step is collecting data to prove the relevance of thiamine as an essential nutrient required to make energy.

When I Added Thiamine, My Body Began To Recharge

For the first time, I saw a difference in labs and body function. At 300 mg of HCL, my increasing A1C levels fell below the prediabetes range. I almost took metformin at one point, recommended by an integrative doctor. I felt the effects of B1 utilizing B6, through a lucid dream. Treating methylation since 2006, he says “B1 is the gateway to methylation.”  With before and after data, he points out B1 upregulating the folate cycling. My energy was increasing. Muscular problems resolved, elevated branched chain aminos were absorbing and TMJ and bruxism disappeared. This was just the beginning. familial beriberi - thiamine deficiency

I found the thiamine experts, Dr. Derrick Lonsdale and Dr. Chandler Marrs during my titration period. Nuances of thiamine used as a drug to make ATP are available with a detailed overview of beriberi, throughout Hormones Matter. Post to post, the doctors’ addressed every missing piece to my complex puzzle and more. They prompted me to take a closer look inside my dad’s past, one he rarely spoke of, and connections were made.

While titrating up, I had a short bout of diarrhea in the middle of the night. When I decreased the dose, I developed POTS for the first time, the room would spin 24/7 whenever I stood up. My GP referred me to the ER. I was unaware that I was having a paradox reaction. I just upped the thiamine, POTS, and diarrhea resolved.

Chronic TD is called beriberi means “I can’t, I can’t” in Singhalese. The problem is Chinese typically under 80, have never heard of beriberi, and in the US, beriberi is known but assigned as a disease that does not exist anymore or a condition only seen in alcoholics and bariatric patients. Genetic beriberi is passed through families, causing the inability to absorb thiamine from foods.

Beriberi In Two Families Going Back Three Generations

My family history revealed apparent genetics expressing as neuropsychiatric disorders and other conditions that appeared unrelated. Thiamine deficiency (TD) is not easily identified, due to its polysymptomatic nature. Besides the brain, the heart, muscle skeletal, digestive system, and autonomic nervous systems (ANS) need thiamine to function.

My maternal side lived in prosperity and ate a traditional Chinese diet and tropical delicacies. There were 7 members, including my grandfather that had Alzheimer’s (AD) and one family member had Parkinson’s. My grandmother had TD from kidney dialysis. There was TD in AIDS. Untreated hyperthyroidism resulted in cardiac failure mortality at 58. An alcoholic uncle had deficits, anxiety, cancer, and AD. An anorexic cousin refuses whole meals, develops a damaged digestive tract, severe IBS-C, chemical sensitivities, and major depressive disorder.

My paternal side lived in poverty. White rice was a diet staple. There was an aunt that died from child mortality in China from starvation.

After migrating to the US, food scarcity persisted. My grandfather had obesity and type 2 diabetes. My grandmother had sadness after her husband sold their daughter’s papers in China, never to see them again. At 61, my 4’10” grandmother fell over and died from beriberi.

Her wake was the first time my dad went to a restaurant at age 16. He often licked food and preserved it for later. Falsely accused of stealing, the detention center fed him regular meals. Five siblings had short stature and high IQs. His Chinese brother pictured right, was saved by the U.S. Army from malnutrition and assigned to be the radar instructor. There was bullying, anger, and irritation in the three boys. One, a bar owner exhibited extreme behavior like bringing a gun over a trivial conflict that would leave in-laws aghast.

Ocular diseases, restless leg syndrome, circadian rhythm disorder, cancer, some OCD and hypermobility, and osteoporosis appear. There was TD from chemotherapy. Two aunts left behind in China lived to be centurions and a daughter has fibromyalgia, depression, and other deficits.

Connect the lineage with a pregnancy gone wrong.

Genetics and a Traumatic Pregnancy Sets the Stage for Life

Pregnancy, a hypermetabolic state, requires sufficient thiamine for the development of a healthy child. My mom, a robust woman, was overmedicated and bedridden for a month post-pregnancy. She recovered but my brother was permanently disabled. My brother was born with uncontrollable hyperactivity and oppositional disorder. Our theory was his oxygen supply was cut off to his brain, but it was thiamine deficiency.

Two years later I was born. As a young child, I was hypoactive and didn’t move much. In grade school hearing loss was detected. Early memories included some clumsiness and not having the strength to swing on monkey bars like other children. My first feelings of frustration were over homework, especially math. My overall health waxed and waned and would not draw attention until high school when tiredness, poor memory and learning disabilities appeared. I was bullied by my older brother.

Nine years later my younger brother was born, bruxism as a baby, was his first sign of thiamine deficiency.

The next generation, symptoms of thiamine deficiency show in a gifted child.

Neurological deficits ranging from severe to minor were a sign of impaired methylation since birth.
My mom’s prenatal diet was traditional and American, and we were bottle-fed. This was in the ’60s when women were weaned off breastfeeding.

Now connect the genetics, the pregnancy and untreated thiamine deficiency in a parent and sibling.

A Genius Mind Uses More Energy and Requires More Thiamine

My dad invented the on-line TV guide in the eighties. In a constant state of fight-or-flight, working through the middle of the night on patents, sugary snacks were comfort foods to compensate for early years of food deprivation. The “night owl” term we used was circadian rhythm dysfunction. Thiamine is an overlooked nutrient required for sleep and the breakdown of cortisol.

When my brother’s hyperactivity was unmanageable, breaking things, beating the ADD out of my brother was habitual. A dysfunctional limbic system causes knee-jerk reactions to uncontrollable rage. I just learned that my seemingly nice uncle, an alcoholic, frequently tried to beat the homosexuality out of his young child.

A psychologist thought violence only happens in alcoholics. I think this limited view needs to be updated to include excess processed food intake. I remember “children should be seen and not heard” commercials as a child when hitting and spanking was more accepted.

In 1983, Dr. Kunin cited Dr. Lonsdale’s research that describes the B vitamin link with violence in Mega Nutrition for Women, “patients whose violent behavior was inexplicable by conventional medical diagnosis were found to be deficient in one or more B vitamins, notably B1, B3, and B6”.

During the Covid-19 shutdown, I thought of TD when incidences of abuse spiked, homelessness and random violence spread, and middle-class families now become dependent on food banks.

Poor Health After Antibiotics

As a young teen, I lost my glow, I looked tired, and my skin had a jaundiced yellow-greenish tint. In high school, after a round of tetracycline for transient acne, I was never the same. My metabolism stopped and I gained 40 lbs. I also have leptin deficiency and so I am always hungry. Napping after school was an everyday event. My limited thyroid test given showed normal thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH). I was also constipated but didn’t know it until middle-aged after I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s. In my 20’s I took antibiotics for chronic strep throat. Uninterested in nutrient dense foods, I subscribed to carb loading and high-intensity aerobic activity, the trend of the day.

Changes in My 30’s and the Promise of Modern Medicine

When my dad had side effects from sleep medication, he did his research, bought supplements for every system in the body, and stopped going to doctors. He got the family off of rice and put us on B vitamins. Uneducated in vitamins, I gave up on them too soon. I wasn’t taking enough! My mom’s acupuncturist treated my ADD, but I strayed when a well-meaning friend steered me towards pharmacology, and I took Effexor. The damage showed up over the next decade when increased nervous system and mitochondrial dysfunction begin.

Loud bar music in the back of my unit initiated chronic insomnia in my forties. I had open mouth breathing. Elevated cortisol and night sweats woke me at least 8 times a night. If I was mad, I’d have an instant hot flash and sizzle like a red bull. I lost my sex drive. After quitting Effexor, elevated thyroid TBO antibodies appeared. Later diagnosed with sensorineural hearing loss, the psychiatrist prescribed sound therapy but the condition isn’t curable.

Musculature problems began, I had an unrelenting frozen shoulder from a gym accident, and at one point, I had ataxia and couldn’t walk straight. After a trip, while in Hurricane Ivan, I was unable to walk for a month with ataxia. I once met an advanced multiple sclerosis patient, that experienced the exact same symptom from Ivan. The cause was thiamine deficiency in the cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls movement and walking.

For work, I illustrated 300 skylines from around the world and market them on Etsy. My fine motor skills and artistry remain superior, but my spatial organization was nonexistent. I was very messy. Taking GABA hampered work stress, but I couldn’t cycle it from thiamine deficiency. Managing inventory and college students wore me out. One told me “You can’t retain what I tell you”.  Finding my car in large parking lots was often challenging. The hippocampus circuitry requires thiamine for short-term memory function.

Orthomolecular psychiatry has proven to treat and manage these types of disorders with nutrients and diet, as the first line of defense. There was no need for antidepressants.

After My Diagnosis, I Learned My Parents Were Already Taking Thiamine

When I told my dad about my thiamine deficiency, he pulled out a bottle of thiamine labeled anti-beriberi. He was taking B1 for cardiac support. The heart and brain consume a vast amount of energy and require thiamine to meet the demand. My mom took benfotiamine successfully for shingles, a neuropathic pain.

When I told my original acupuncturist, about my diagnosis he said, “I already know you have beriberi, just take B vitamins and lots of them. You don’t need my herbs.” He had been treating me for dysautonomia, twenty years before I developed POTS. I detested the point because his needling pressure hurt. No questions asked; he needles points by observation and pulse, Western characterization in diseases have no significance.

Part of the treatment for dysautonomia is a needle to the center of the philtrum, this point prevents fainting. Another needle is inserted into the center of the forehead and one on top of the head for balance. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) healers identify liver and lung channels weakness two decades before western medicine.

The New Doctor Damaged My Health In Only Eight Months

Twenty nineteen was a bad year. Dr. Kunin sees Vitamin C deficiency and signs of anemia and then retired. I stopped getting IVs. I would still nap after taking them. My trusted acupuncturist, also a nutritionist moved. I began dry coughing a lot, which later I learned was a sign of TD. Then I met the worst doctor ever.

I showed her, Thiamine Deficiency, Dysautonomia, and High Calorie Malnutrition and she handed it back to me and said “Oh, another patient brought this in the office.” I interviewed another doctor and told him I have TD and he replied with, “what’s your point!” and referred me to a doctor out of state.

I settled on the first doctor, and everything started wrong. She put me on a high-dose thyroid medication without titrating, and Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN), which gave me a stomachache. She wanted me back on LDN after I told her I had side effects. She recommends NAD instead of Meyer’s Cocktails which includes thiamine.

By the time I realized I was in a hyperthyroid state, the damage had begun. A cascade of beriberi symptoms begins. When one symptom would go away, another would begin. The neuropathy was more long-term. I had resting tachycardia, lactic acidosis after five days of yoga stretch that caused feet neuropathy and then trigger finger. All the doctor could say was “I had candida overgrowth”.  The cause of candida was that I had a weakened immune system from TD. I watched videos on lactic acidosis to explain it to her.

When I saw an eleven year old’s homework on glycolysis it made me wonder how much doctors remember from medical school.” I tested the doctor and asked her “What does pyruvate convert to?” She answered incorrectly.

I was developing non-alcoholic Wernicke’s encephalopathy (WE), acute short-term memory loss. I almost walked out of a restaurant thinking I paid the bill. I couldn’t remember putting a credit card back in my wallet and arguing with the clerk after she had handed it back to me. Once I read, “if you think you’re deficient in thiamine, get an IV right away.” After a series of Myers Cocktails with phosphatidylcholine, the progression stopped.

Another doctor got me off the thyroid meds, yet wet and dry beriberi symptoms continued. My left-hand lost circulation and turned hard and purple. The back of my neck hardened and my backside turned into butter. I had unintentional weight loss and my hand reflexes slowed. My minerals were becoming unbalanced. I contacted a refeeding syndrome clinic, for a consult, but was turned away because I wasn’t anorexic. A few months later I traveled to Hawaii and made a mistake.

Orthomolecular Medicine Rescues Me Again

Accidentally packing thiamine HCL instead of TTFD, the HCL initiated my paradox reaction and I had diarrhea several times the first night. Every day I napped from the sun’s UV rays. Excruciating muscle cramps sent me to Dr. Pritam Tapryal, Honolulu’s IV doctor specializing in chronic fatigue syndrome. Thiamine handouts, a stockpile of capsules and vials of B1 were waiting for me.

He calculates that I needed 600 mg of IV thiamine based on the length of time I had been feeling unwell. With an iron load before the second IV, I felt a surge of energy – I got ATP! My vagus nerve stimulated peristalsis and excess fermentation stuck in my body for three months finally released. Elevated liver enzyme activity and low blood pressure normalized.  Afterward, I found a doctor willing to provide high dose thiamine therapy at home.

I went back to the doctor that said “what’s your point” when I told him I had thiamine deficiency and requested 600 mg of parenteral B1 instead of 100 mg. A bit taken back, he shows compassion and custom orders 500 mg of B1 in a Myers Cocktail, after I explained my recent experience. The IV manager thought I was an ICU patient, but I wasn’t. It was the dose I felt best on.

High Dose IV Thiamine Therapy: From  A Patient’s Perspective

A series of high-dose thiamine (HDT) IV treatments, turned into an epigenetic treatment going on two years and two months. I’ve taken 100,000 mg of parental thiamine to this date. Infusions continued to sustain therapeutic effects and increased thyroid production. Unknown cause of malabsorption required ongoing infusions. Resolved through extensive pre-and post-labs.

I self-directed my treatment and gauged myself. I found thiamine articles from all over the world, but high-dose thiamine information was limited to WE treatment only. I received no medical advice on thiamine therapy from allopathic doctors that had clinical nutrition education, or from a young orthomolecular doctor or GP. Familial beriberi - thiamine deficiency

I had two to three IVs per week the first year that included 500 mg of thiamine. The longest time without an IV was three weeks at the beginning of 2020 and eleven days at the end of 2021. Below is a 12-month summary, from a 55-year-old woman with unrecognized lifelong thiamine deficiency from a SLC19A3 gene defect.

Journal From Long Term, IV, High Dose Thiamine Therapy

My high-dose thiamine regimen began 11/21/2019. This is the Meyers Cocktail titration period:

  • 2 infusions of 200 mg of thiamine in 2 weeks in end of Nov. to Dec.
  • 5 infusions 300 mg of thiamine in 2.5 weeks Dec. to Mid Dec
  • 2 infusions 400 mg of thiamine in 2 weeks Mid Dec. to January.
  • 500 mg of thiamine 2 to 3 times a week were taken in the middle of January.

11/2019 Concerned about anaphylaxis. Only a few teeny bumps around lips developed and disappeared after the first day. Visual clarity is the first sign of improvement.

12/2020 – Foot neuropathy and trigger finger for 4 months, resolved with 7 IV’s spread out over 4.5 weeks. The IV thiamine doses were 300 mg or 200 mg. Dexa scan shows osteopenia in lower back and femur and only 3 lbs. of lean muscle mass, muscle wasting, a hallmark symptom of beriberi.

OATS test taken a day after HDT infusion – tested B1 borderline deficient. Borderline and deficient in minerals and vitamins except manganese, doctor thought something was wrong with lab.

1/2020 – Right mucosal lining was demyelinating and slightly bleeding for a month, saw glitter. Zonulin levels over 800, the doctor told me not to be concerned, but I was. Slight rectal bleeding.

An unintentional fast in cold weather caused syncope. Broke out in an intense sweat, became faint and lost appetite. Leaned against buildings every few feet to get home, no thiamine in am. Sitting on bench resolved symptoms. MCV increases to 100, normal range is up to 95.

Tested negative for panel of inborn errors of metabolism. Autoimmune panel negative except – Arthritis – equivocal, Thyroiditis- out of range, Epstein Barr – negative.

2/2020 – New formulation of phosphatidylcholine, with small amount of dextrose without B1 was a mistake.

On three-week break, nighttime driving vision had decreased. Resumed Meyer’s Cocktail after break, fatigued, fell asleep in IV chair after IV. Reduced thyroid medication from I grain a week, increased after break to 3.5 grains a week. A1C 4.8 increased to 5.2 after break.

Right quadrant of my upper teeth dropped down. Oral surgeon said “not pathogenic of disease”.

Last visit with Dr. Kunin. Concerned I looked just as depressed as when we first met. I was happy to see him, unable to express it. Continue a more DIY approach and TCM, “the Chinese have found ways to treat that western medicine has not figured out, and one day technology will be so advanced doctors won’t be necessary”.  He handed me the keys and said, “Figure it out on your own.”

3/2020 – Introduced high fat diet. Lost 3 lbs.in a week. Severe leg cramps from foot to shin. During an IV, felt leg cramping. Normal cholesterol increased from 260 to 400. Stopped diet. No B1 in fat.

4/2020 – Lowered stress from semi-retirement and resting. IBS starts to resolve for the first time at 55. Felt extreme chill one day.  Took injectables at another doctor’s office due to shut down. I took 100 mg B1 in a B complex in intramuscular (IM) with B12 to ease B1 ‘pinch’, plus IM biotin for a month.  Not as effective as HDT infusions.  Combination of B1 with complex and biotin had best results.

5/2020 – Meyer’s Cocktail and 350 mg of NAD back-to-back infusions lifted brain fog profoundly.  Able to do tasks I couldn’t perform prior. I cried with joy, my cells were not permanently damaged from past use of Effexor and antibiotics. Unable to replicate treatment. Oral Inositol reduced elevated triglycerides dramatically, then stopped working. IBS came back off and on.

6/2020 – Tested borderline low on calcium, choline, magnesium, B5, B12, Vit C, K2, zinc on a three month average. GI lab shows mal-digestion, metabolic imbalance, and dysbiosis. Stomach pain from psyllium and flax, phytobezoar build up, rash on neck since 2019 getting worse, insomnia resolved.

7/2020 – Severe anemia showing and severe muscle weakness. I couldn’t lift a 5 lb. weight. Acute memory loss, almost walked out of lab before taking the lab.  Waking up early in am in summer at 8:00.  Hemoglobin normal and then drops frequently, IV doctor sees bleeding. Ophthalmologist finds arcus build up from high cholesterol, strong arteries, and recommends latanoprost for glaucoma after field test.

8/2020 – Decreased parenteral 500 mg B1 to 300 mg to test if high dose thiamine is depleting B12. Began coughing after 7 days. Post NAD IV lab tested  B12 deficiency, causing hemoglobin and T3 deficiency.  Acupuncture treatment creates switch sensations throughout body allowing oxygen flow, heart channel under arm point pulsated – oxygen and lung channels communicate. Leg bruising – Vitamin C deficiency.  Insomnia came back when B1 parental dose decreased, never resolved fully after increasing B1.

9/2020 – ANS dysfunction – uncontrollable body flipping in bed two nights in a row, movements like a fish out of water.  Resumed 500 mg of prenatal B1 after two weeks at 300 mg. Ophthalmologist said “you look more alert”, compared to two months ago. Started IM Mic-B and hydroxocobalamin, 5 days a week. IBS-C decreased with B12 IM. Coughing on Lipothiamine, switched permanently to Allithiamine, cough resolved. Normal zonulin levels return, reduced gut inflammation. GI didn’t order endoscopy after I told him something hit my stomach when walking and had rectal bleeding. He wrote IBS on notes. Stopped EDTA IVs for cadmium after a few treatments, when urine began foaming.

10/2020 – Latent deficiencies appear: B12, CoQ10 malabsorption. B1 not absorbing. Vitamin C deficiency appears, lifelong subclinical scurvy, bleeding gums, gingivitis, pilaris keratosis, bruising, poor iron absorption, rectal bleeding, low tyrosine.  Sick people are low in B vitamins and Vitamin C.  Repeated thiamine depletions cause heavy Vitamin C deficiency in lung, kidney, thymus, and liver.

Tested positive for Intrinsic Factor AB, Pernicious Anemia (PA).  Hematologist defensive when I asked him if TD can cause anemia, cancelled next appt., told me to see a GI. Doctors booked from Covid-19 delays.

Oral surgeon cleared teeth shifting. Orthodontist ordered aligners, short teeth roots in scan.

Trialed compounded thiamine cream from Lee Silsby pharmacy and replaced TTFD.

11/2020 – Stomach pain increasing after meal. Twelve days in, I thought I was going blind. The thiamine cream wasn’t absorbing. Indoor and night vision blurry. Back to TTFD and Myers Cocktail together. My vision came back, but not as clear before getting blurry. Mild paradox reaction, a bowel movement in the middle of the night.

12/2020 – Endoscopy shows chronic gastritis, h. pylori and peptic ulcers. A combination of a lack of nutrients cause ulcers, including B1.  Refused triple therapy (antibiotics and PPI). Treated with cabbage, herbals, mastic gum.  ION Panel indicated GSH and potassium deficiency, lactic acidosis (TD), ketosis, oxidative stress, transmitter deficiencies and metabolic syndrome.

Elliot Overton of EO Nutrition interprets mitochondria in battleship mode, suspects mold toxicity. Unseen mold or water damage. Incontinence and frequent urination. Second ophthalmologist told me don’t take latanoprost. MCV high still high with regular IM B12, since 10/20. With small veins and bursting arteries, it’s difficult to maintain IV’s.

In 2020, my health was like my dad’s. My hearing and vision deteriorated, I was unable to hear people speak with masks on and had difficulties focusing on conversation in noisy rooms. Gingivitis developed into periodontal disease; teeth aligners require lifetime use. My dad is deaf in one ear, and now going blind in the second eye and had the periodontal disease the same year and wears dentures.

Observations at 43,500 mg IV Thiamine After 13 Months

Intravenous therapy can target issues in ways oral thiamine cannot reach.

Improved thyroid production, A1C, insomnia, IBS and CFS, overall energy level partially improved.  Foot neuropathy and trigger finger resolved.  Cocktails with phosphatidylcholine, iron, and NAD, had increased effects, latent deficiencies appear, no nutrient depletions from high-dose thiamine.

Infection, gastritis, ulcers during treatment caused malabsorption. Reducing thiamine caused insomnia to reoccur and acute vision reduction, increased ANS dysfunction caused temporary uncontrollable body movements.  Increased dose of 300 mg to 500 mg of B1 resolved uncontrollable body movements and regained vision.

I saw one patient vomit, and a patient have nausea during 300 mg B1 Meyers Cocktail.

ROS from unknown cause extends treatment into 2021.

High Dose Thiamine IV Therapy, Toxins, Diet, Labs, and Gigong

In 2021, I tapered to two IVs a week and increased the 500 mg to 600 mg mid-year. Hot flashes returned after 5 years of remission causing a three-month setback. Insomnia made me delirious and had to take naps. PEMF bio-mat calms the nervous system to assist in sleep, without it I’ll wake up a few times during the night. For over 10 years, I wake up and urinate once a night. My eyes became blurry and I walked slowly like an old lady for a short period. Daily clear phlegm wants to come out since 2020 when I eat.

In spring my bloodwork showed Stachybotrys and Aspergillus mold. I found growth on papers in a storage box against a wall with the laundry room on another side. Condensation went through the wall.

With my gut healing and IV therapy, my TBO antibodies levels reduced significantly. The increased T3 raised my steroid hormones. Reducing thyroid medication again was a real possibility. IBS-C was resolved by mega-dosing powder magnesium with fiber, B1 and B12. I once had an offer to see the world authority on IBS-C, though all I needed was a good form of high-dose magnesium. I was feeling better until I experienced unexpected setbacks.

Everything Changed With Two Major Endocrine Disruptors

Microscopic brick debris during construction flew under my windows. Debris flew inside over 50 ft. and landed everywhere, never thought my eyes and lungs could clear it. Due to an HLA-DQB1 gene defect, I’m unable to break down mycotoxins (mold).  Mold is an anti-thiamine factor and it oxidizes B1 and B12.

When inflammation started to calm down, my hallway went under remodeling, and material debris and paint fumes went under my door. The chemicals shut down my thyroid. Antibodies rose from 180 to 535. Inflammatory markers that were improving became elevated and deficient. My killer cell function, HNK1 (CD57) level was 50 and now 18.  The doctor thinks I have Lyme. I’m testing for MARCoNS, a staph infection that resides deep in the nasal passage, due to sinus inflammation from the biotoxins.

After trialing Cholestyramine for mold binding, it made me constipated. My acupuncturist gave me a two-hour treatment to undo the damage. To detox, I use an FIR infrared sauna on the mat. I’m getting an ERMI test kit to test other rooms, an air test hardly detected mold.

HDT Isn’t a Standalone Treatment

With the amount of IVs I took, I tested questionable foods. A few small gluten-free snacks put me into a comatose within 20 minutes. Less than two ounces of coffee initiated leg/foot cramping. I never had this problem a few years ago.  Removal of processed carbs is the only way I can maintain my thiamine storage.

Staying in mild ketosis, on a paleo diet is optimal for me. When I tried high-fat and vegan diets, they caused deficiencies. I have a nonfunctional gene cluster FADS1/FADS2, that requires the consumption of EPA and DHA found in seafood. Drinking concoctions of vegetables and minerals activate B vitamins throughout the day.  TD causes nitric oxide deficiency and I replete myself with nitric oxide greens.  My one kryptonite food is liver, it elevates my copper.  Using food as medicine supports my overall immune function as I recover from Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome.

My hydrochloric acid is deficient from TD, and I have low gastrin. I’ve taken 13,000 mg of Pepsin Betaine and feel no sensation. Apple cider vinegar doesn’t seem to work. My amino supplements aren’t absorbing.  I also have oxalates, Elliot recommends more B6 and I’ve increased molybdenum to meet my sulfur intake.

I take a blend of B1 that includes: 900 mg Allithiamine, 300 mg benfotiamine and 500 mg thiamine HCL. Over 900 mg Allithiamine and sulfur come up. Before a Meyers Cocktail, I’ll soak in magnesium salts. I’ve increased all the B’s and take them with other essential nutrients throughout the day in moderate to high doses. I require biotin intramuscularly every few weeks, otherwise my nails chip, this started last year. My transporter may be dissolving.

Utilizing Biomarkers and Managing Nutrients

Every six weeks I rotate biochem panels and adjust diet and supplements. My weaknesses this year have been lipids, omegas, aminos, and inflammatory markers. My B12 continues to pool due to suboptimal thiamine levels unable to utilize B12, so I stopped testing. I inject 35 mg of hydroxocobalamin a week, plus sublingual, and hemoglobin is always on the lowest end of normal after I had pernicious anemia. Mold is the suspect cause. I may also have scar tissue from ulcers and scurvy of the colon. The GI doctor recommends an endoscopy once every three years when there’s been a problem.

I’ve found nutrient panels reliable when B1 is extremely deficient. On two occasions my lactate tested normal. Then I had beriberi symptoms after I took the labs on the same day. This was from eating beans and walking in sun, which forced me to sleep. My citric acid markers were normal on an ION panel and I was in ketosis, but the clinician didn’t know I had POTS on the morning of the lab. This was from a three-day fast suggested by a doctor. Thiamine deficiency can worsen on a dime.

Diagnosed with TD on a SpectraCell micronutrient panel, I had long-term B1 deficiency. Normal B1 levels are misleading on my labs once there’s been intake. The Vibrant America panel showed B1 malabsorption at 35,000 mg of parenteral B1.  I’ll continue with this panel and monitor nutrients connected to B1.

My doctor’s friend offered me the two-part transketolase lab for research, but my doctor forgot to arrange the sampling. I was upset at the time, but it doesn’t matter now. I manage myself by how I feel. With Excel journaling, the more elements I add, the more clarity I receive. Observing physical changes are equally valuable to the labs.

A Revisit to Energy Medicine That Compliments Nutritional Balancing

I recently discovered group Primordial Qigong. I haven’t found any other modality that has the same restorative benefits that give energy instead of using energy. Movements connect the body, mind, and soul with the focus on living in the present. Gentle stimulation of systems and body parts creates rejuvenation from within. Who doesn’t want that?

Dysautonomia, the fainting prevention point, is taught in practice. The bank of hands faced together inverted pushed downwards from the forehead over the philtrum encourages balance. Made for masses with no resources, it only requires continuity. This is a welcoming alternative compared to the nutrient-depleting therapies, recommended by for-profit western doctors that made my health worse when they didn’t know what they were dealing with.

At 100,000 mg Of IV Thiamine – It Feels Like I’m on a Train I Can’t Get Off

Overall, the quality of my life has improved. I no longer need to lie down and sleep during the day, even if I feel tired. I’m more active in mind and body. I can sit up and read, wake up earlier, and exercise. My processing speed and speech are faster. The left side of my brain is strengthened. I did audits on my condo association to trace missing dues and one over BlueCross when many claims were unpaid. My brain fog had been too severe to do this previously.

Neuropsychiatric issues appear in less frequency. I still experience forgetfulness and minor learning impairments. Irritation is manageable. I believe some brain function is permanently damaged along with hearing loss. Considering my long-standing history, I’m pleased with the results even though it is only a partial recovery.

Since my body called out for a high dose, there’s a chance I can regress. At 11 days off the IVs, I was deficient in Co2. I don’t know if the thiamine coenzymes can function without high-dose therapy because of my genetic liability. I’m patiently waiting to see how my body changes after the toxins are eliminated and figure out how to taper down from the IVs.

Final Thoughts

Thanks to Dr. Marrs and writers on HM for elucidating thiamine awareness, I learned how to use thiamine as a drug at a time when I needed it most.

Through luck, I found nutritional clinicians that made a significant difference in my health. Educated in Dr. Lonsdale’s thiamine research, they applied his nutrient-based knowledge into their practices. Understanding that beriberi still exists today and is not an ancient scourge from yesterday, is critical.

By assimilating the genetic impact of beriberi and orthomolecular dosing, I’m regaining health in my late fifties. However, no patient should have to spend a lifetime finding a treatment based on luck. There’s no reason to it’s all here: Thiamine Deficiency, Dysautonomia and High Calorie Malnutrition, Derrick Lonsdale and Chandler Marrs; www.orthomolecularmedicine.org

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This article was published originally on February 14, 2022. 

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Depression, Anxiety, and the Chronically Hypoxic Brain

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I couldn’t help noticing the Wall Street Journal of Thursday, June 7, in which a column reported a completely unexpected suicide. The title of the column was “Kate Spade’s Family Recounts Her Battle With Depression”. It was reported that “Ms. Spade had suffered from depression and anxiety, and was being treated with medication and therapy. Depression and anxiety disorders occur simultaneously in about 25% of general practice patients. In the abstract, the author says “about 85% of patients with depression have anxiety and 90% of patients with anxiety have depression. Benzodiazepines may help alleviate insomnia and anxiety but not depression”. It must be obvious that the general impression is that these are two different expressions of psychological disarray that require different drugs to treat them. Evidently, Ms. Spade had left a suicide note indicating that she had been under mental stress from her marriage. There were other stresses reported. She had been living separately from her husband for 10 months and had been seeking help for the past five years.

The incongruity requires explanation. Here was a 55-year-old woman who was highly successful in the eyes of the world and her suicide appears to be completely incongruous, as indeed most suicides are. There should be a logical explanation for such an anachronism. The instinct for life is incredibly strong for us and indeed for all creatures in the animal kingdom. I offer my explanation here, based on the contention that the human brain is an electrochemical machine and that its functions are highly dependent on an adequate supply of energy. This does not take into account the concept of a soul that must remain one of the great mysteries of life.

Revisiting Freud: The Ego and the Id

According to Sigmund Freud, the id is the subconscious mind supervised by the ego and what he called the super-ego. All are built upon the presupposed existence of conscious and unconscious thoughts. Modern research has failed to find individual areas in the human brain dealing with the control of specific action. Its function is now regarded as an integrated organ, all parts of which share that action. However, much of this activity is entirely automatic and below conscious level. All brains in higher members of the animal kingdom are built on the same anatomical principle, presumably reflecting a “oneness” in design. If we are to accept evolution as the driving force, the brain of each animal has been developed to service that animal in its natural niche. The niche of Homo sapiens appears to be that of the dominant species and it has evolved from a more primitive state to a more sophisticated one, gradually introducing increased complexity. Brain action would be expected to become more and more sophisticated over time, perhaps making us more cooperative.

We have no idea what is in store for us with continued evolution, but it has long seemed to me that we are still relatively primitive at the philosophical level. Under stressful conditions, the actions of the human brain are much less predictable. However we consider the distribution of brain function, it is an electrochemical machine and a great deal of its activity is unconscious and purely automatic. Body organs signal the brain that then gives instructions to them via the autonomic and endocrine systems. It is therefore convenient to accept the ego and the id, each with its separate functions, however, they are controlled, by the conscious and unconscious mind. Some of the net behavior might be perceived as actions of the automatic component, governed and permitted by the conscious component. It has been suggested that human beings are built as “mean fighting machines equipped for self-interest”.

The Nervous System

Many posts on this website describe the difference between the so-called voluntary and the autonomic nervous systems. The term “voluntary” indicates that we can think and move at will and its actions are dictated by the conscious mind. The autonomic nervous system is almost completely automatic and governs many purely reflex actions, the fight-or-flight reflex being the best known. Hunger and thirst are self-preservatives. The sex drive preserves the continued existence of the species. Yes, these reflexes give us a sense of pleasure, which is the driving incentive and the brain provides us with sensory mechanisms that provide that pleasure. Everything is tied together by a complex code known as DNA, whose individual characteristics describe the physical profile and personality of each animal including humans. From a purely philosophical point of view, it calls into question whether we truly have free will or whether we are programmed by the environment in which we find ourselves. If all components fit together as designed, we can say that the “blueprint” for each person dictates the nature of the personality and reflects his/her mental and physical health. Our training to meet life starts in infancy and is in the hands of parents.

Of Stress and Stressors

Stress is a physical or mental event to which each of us has to adapt. As I have mentioned in other posts on this website, a Canadian researcher by the name of Hans Selye studied the effect of physical stress in animals for many years. He came to the conclusion that virtually any form of stress demanded an increase in the supply of cellular energy, much like the engine of a car climbing a hill. A stressed animal had to adapt to the injuries applied by Selye. He called it the “General Adaptation Syndrome”. He used many different methods to induce stress because he wondered whether there were different responses, depending on the nature of the stressor. He found that the stress response was uniformly identical across species and was able to divide the General Adaptation Syndrome into several predictable phases, each of which was repeatable in each experiment. Not surprisingly, his studies included an array of sequential biochemical changes in the body fluids. I found these changes to be similar to the laboratory changes seen in chronically sick patients. One of his students was able to produce the syndrome by first making the animal deficient in the vitamin thiamine, thus supporting the role of energy deficiency as the causative factor. Selye suggested that human health broke down as a result of energy failure, particularly in the brain, leading to what he called “the diseases of adaptation”. It is probably true that some form of life stress is absolutely necessary for a person to contemplate suicide. Therefore, it seems necessary to discuss the mechanisms by which the brain responds to stress.

The Biological Brain

Whether we like to recognize it or not, the brain is an electrochemical machine whose functions, like any machine, require energy. The fact that the brain requires 20% of the total oxygen inhaled is an absolute indication of its energy requirement. There is much evidence that even a mild reduction influences brain activity and this will be reflected in some kind of change in thought processes and the consequent behavior resulting from it. Nutrition affects mood. A deficiency of many vitamins is associated with psychological symptoms. In some elderly patients, folate deficiency is associated with depression. Iron deficiency is associated with apathy, depression, and rapid fatigue when exercising. In several studies, an improvement in thiamine status was associated with improved mood. One of the major manifestations of obstructive sleep apnea is profound and repeated (episodic) hypoxia (insufficient oxygen) during sleep. This increase in activity in the sympathetic nervous system affects blood pressure. Thiamine deficiency induces gene expression similar to that observed in hypoxia and has been referred to as causing pseudo-hypoxia. Magnesium and thiamine deficiency have both been implicated in depression.

Hypoxia and Pseudohypoxia in Depression and Anxiety

During many years of medical practice, I found that a mild degree of thiamine deficiency was responsible for symptoms that are often regarded as psychological. Chronic anxiety and depression were regularly alleviated by getting people to understand the importance of an appropriate diet, together with the administration of supplementary vitamins, the most important of which were thiamine and magnesium. I could never understand how a patient could be actually blamed for producing symptoms beyond the comprehension of the physician. Abnormal thoughts, emotions, and all forms of mental activity are produced by electrochemical reactions that are exaggerated by a mild degree of hypoxia or pseudo-hypoxia.

Anxiety and depression are perfectly normal emotional reactions but when they are sustained for absolutely no reason, it is because of this biochemically initiated exaggeration. In particular, the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system is easily activated because any degree of oxygen lack is obviously dangerous to the organism and a fight-or-flight reflex reaction would be initiated by the perception of danger. This reflex, because of its nature, might give rise to aggressive behavior when a nursed a grievance explodes into violence. The widespread intake of empty calories, particularly in the form of sugary and fatty substances, is responsible for polysymptomatic disease in millions. Such individuals cannot handle the normal stresses of life and are much more easily imbued with a sense of hopelessness. Suicide seems to be the only option. The idea that dietary excesses might be responsible for depression and suicidal ideation is not a presently acceptable concept, but the biochemical results of alcohol and sugar ingestion are identical in the part of the brain that has to deal with these inbuilt vital reflexes.

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More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, and like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

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This article was published originally on June 20, 2018. 

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My Decade of 24/7 Depression

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I am a 60 year old female who has been experiencing severe depression with anhedonia for over a decade. I often feel oxygen and energy deprivation in my head more often when I lie down. I have a lot of short term memory problems and executive functioning issues that began around age 50. Sometimes I feel the earth move under my feet and I am occasionally dizzy and have double vision. If I look intently at things, it appears as though they are moving. I also have some visual tracking issues. This is partly do being blind focally in one eye and floaters in both, but I suspect there is more too it. I have endured restless leg syndrome for years, which has been significantly less for the last few weeks after beginning thiamine, as have some of my other symptoms, but the depression, anhedonia and general loss of motivation and lack of joy remains. I have begun using a variety of supplements but feel as though I am still missing something. I am sharing my story in the hopes that someone can offer some help.

Childhood Through Early Adulthood

Since childhood, I have felt physically crappy. I was never able to breathe through my nose. I had asthma and constant, intense itching in my ears, nose, throat, head, and eyes. Insomnia plagued me as a child due to anxiety, along with the inability to breathe and the intense itching in my head. Regularly, and especially at night, I fantasized of putting an icepick into my ear to scratch the horrible itch in the center of my head. All day, everyday, I choked on the constant snot that continuously poured out of my nose and clogged my throat. I choked often on my food being a total mouth breather. I needed a box of Kleenex’s to get through a day. Despite it constantly running, I could not breathe through my nose at all. Encumbering as all this was, I still managed to feel somewhat hopeful, played outdoors, had friends, and attended school most days.

I chose to leave home quite young (at 15 years old) because of family dysfunction. By 16, I stopped consuming liquid dairy, thus leading to a nose-breathing liberation. I still was plagued with sinus issues but could breathe occasionally through my nose to some degree for the first time ever.

As a youth, I experimented with drugs, but never really took anything regularly as the hangovers were horrible and weakening for me. I did a fair amount of drinking in twenties as well but paid the price health wise, and since have not had a drink in many years.

In my twenties, I became aware of sugar causing severe hypoglycemia in me, caused huge mood swings and vision loss. I also self-diagnosed myself with hypothyroidism. I went to see doctors assuming this was causing my miscarriages but the doctors invalidated me at every turn, insisting I was fine. So my Hashimoto’s went untreated for many years until I discovered I could treat it with over-the-counter desiccated thyroid.

Even with all of this going on, I just kept dragging myself along through life on what felt like sheer willpower alone. During this time (my 20’s), I ate more vegetables (fresh organic) and less meat, I had a lot of stomach pain that plagued me on top of everything else, even though my diet was quite good and full of organic vegetables grown nearby. I wasn’t a trying to be a vegetarian, I always thought of myself a bit more of a carnivore, but being that I lived among vegetarians I didn’t eat meat on a daily basis. I noticed that when I did eat meat, I felt a little better. I wish I had taken it more seriously then, but I was still in my optimistic youth, and every day was a new day where I thought I was going to magically feel better.

Lifelong Anxiety and Stage Fright

Prior to the depression, I was a violinist, but one who suffered from lifelong, crippling stage fright. As a child I couldn’t sleep at all for days prior to an audition or performance, which was often. This continued my whole life. Nevertheless, I was able to push through and have performed and recorded many pieces with many different people through the years. Over time though, I began to avoid auditions, and mostly, only performed solo for strangers like at weddings and parties where there weren’t high expectations. Many times, I convinced myself to get over this anxiety, I just had to do it, to get out there and perform. This never worked. I never got over it. Oddly enough, no one realized what I was going through while I played.

I took immediate release Adderall 40-60mg 2-4 x a week for about 5 years in my late 40s to early 50s. It was prescribed for ADHD and for stage fright during violin performances. It also helped with motivation. I have always had a pretty scattered ADHD type personality and felt that I was a high functioning autistic person.

I take trazodone to help sleep when I can afford to get it, but it doesn’t always work. So lately I have been taking a break. Sometimes I will take an over the counter antihistamine/cold medicine like Tylenol when I am desperate to sleep, like when I’m caring for mother. It is a last resort though. I prefer not take anything being it makes me a little nauseous and I worry about liver damage.

I tried Wellbutrin for depression for several months about a year and a half ago, but felt nothing. I tried Prozac for four weeks in my 40s and also felt nothing.

Mumps and Loss of Vision in One Eye

I got the mumps in my forties. This was the closest I ever felt to death in my life. I subsequently lost vision in my right eye. When I lost my vision, it was assumed that I had ocular histoplasmosis but a few years prior to that I had lost vision in one eye for a few months to an unusual eye condition called MEWDS, (multiple evanescent white dot syndrome). MEWDS can be induced by a virus, perhaps having the mumps virus had something to do with it. I also wonder if I was actually type 2 diabetic off and on in my life, or at least borderline, and if that cost me my eye.

Debilitating Depression

After a lifetime of feeling crappy, multiple miscarriages, carpal tunnel, loss of vision in one eye, foot, back, and joint pains, continuous often intense neck pain that has been there since my twenties, along with severe insomnia and allergies, I arrived at 50 years old and began a quick descent into an abyss of deep and unexpected depression and anhedonia. I have been stuck here and have wanted to die 24/7 for 10 years, but haven’t because I do not want to hurt my grown son, and I am sharing the out of state caretaking of my mother and stepfather with dementia with my brother. I have been desperately trying for the last decade to recover my health. To that end, I have taken many supplements but none have really noticeably worked.

Attempts to Recover

Seven years ago, I took to injecting B12 after self-diagnosed pernicious anemia, but never felt a noticeable difference. I was extremely fatigued. I also injected a B complex regularly for several weeks or more without noticing a difference. I still feel a lot of fatigue but with the loss of motivation I think it is possibly more mental than physical.

Ten months ago, I began a strictly carnivore diet. Carnivore has helped inflammation. My bowels are way better and my lifelong mouth ulcers stopped immediately. There have been many other small wins. Unfortunately though, it means  next to nothing to me because it has not fixed my depression, my enjoyment, or will to live. These are the core symptoms that I need to fix. I don’t understand why others get over their depression and insomnia and I cannot seem too. I also still loose lots of hair, but this has been going on for about 7 years. This is traumatic for me (constantly).

About three months ago, I experienced tachycardia plus dizzy spells for several days. The doctors said my iron was fine but I upped my heme iron and b12 and I think it helped. I eat a lot of liver/meat so it surprises me that I would ever be low in b12 or iron. I still feel a little floaty at times, but my heart rates are more normalized.

Recently, I discovered the literature and videos on high dose thiamine. I was very excited, and finally, once again hopeful.

I have taken both TTFD and benfotiamine for a couple weeks now and am not really noticing any changes paradoxically or feeling better. I recently added the HCL too. I have tried upping my doses significantly to where I was taking over 2000mg of Benfotiamine, 400mmg of TTFD and 400mg of thiamine HCL for several weeks. But I have since lowered it considerably. I also take magnesium (100mg), glutathione, riboflavin (100mg) the other B vitamins via yeast, B12 with intrinsic factor (500mg), and electrolytes, and I eat head to tail carnivore including bone broth. I take a substantial amount of more than 400mg of desiccated thyroid as well for the Hashimoto’s disease.

I started taking high dose niacin, perhaps a week ago and I think it kind of helped the thiamine. I felt a certain weight in my head lessen. It was not so much emotionally noticeable but like a bunch of swelling must have loosened. Then two nights ago, my body, legs, and some in arms, swelled up horribly. It was very itchy, painful and lumpy; like I had gained 20 pounds overnight. I haven’t had a history of noticeable edema. This scared me and I decided it was lymphedema, so I began doing lymph draining exercises. I finally felt it was not expanding any longer and perhaps even subsiding a day and half later. I felt hopeful that the brain inflammation FINALLY made a breakthrough, and my body was dealing with the toxicity that had been stuck in there, but I’m not sure what caused the sudden swelling. I also noticed during the swelling that I was urinating less, no matter my fluid intake. Perhaps my body was trying to dilute the toxicity and thus the necessary accumulation. I didn’t take the niacin or thiamine for the next two days. Then yesterday, I took a 1 gram niacin dose and felt a decline in the swelling, and later, around 3 am, I took another niacin, which somehow helped my body hurt less and I could relax. Now a few weeks later, the swelling has decreased considerably. I think it’s going to take some time to feel the results of brain regeneration and habitual behavior, but I don’t feel that feeling of a huge lump of coal stuck in my head anymore. I am currently taking 300mg of benfotiamine, 100 thiamine HCL and 100 allithiamine along with my minerals, electrolytes and vitamins. I also added oregano oil protocol that I heard could help with Hashimoto’s.

Please Help

I used to be highly creative and performed violin for a living, whereas now I cannot find any hope or inspiration to play or do anything and haven’t in years. I desperately want to clear the fog from my brain and regain my will. It is as if I am overwhelmed and underwhelmed at that same time. It is difficult to describe, except that I am miserable. What am I missing? Please any advice appreciated. Thank you!

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More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, and like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

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From Mother to Daughter: The Legacy of Undiagnosed Vitamin Deficiencies

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This is a story of a mother with undiagnosed vitamin B deficiencies who gave birth to a daughter who was also born with undiagnosed vitamin B deficiencies. In the eyes of conventional doctors and labs, there was not much wrong with us, but we knew that life was harder than it should be. We lived managing debilitating dizziness, daily migraines, fibromyalgia pain, chronic fatigue, allergies, hormonal changes, anxiety, and depression. Until we discovered that we were both hypermobile with histamine issues, hypoglycemic, and had many vitamin B deficiencies. The biggest challenge was for my daughter to start taking thiamine (vitamin B1). Her heart rate was all over the place and she had such a bad paradoxical reaction to thiamine that we believe she had been living with undiagnosed beriberi along with POTS.

Mom’s Health Marked by Asthma, Anxiety, Migraines, and a Difficult Pregnancy

All I remember as a child is being afraid to talk in school even if I knew the answer to a question. I had allergies and could not exercise due to asthma. During college, I had to read over and over the same thing because I could not concentrate. I worked extremely hard because the fear of failure was too much to bear. I started to have hormonal imbalances and missing periods. I successfully finished college and moved away to another state. That is when migraines started. Later, I became pregnant with my first child and started having blood clots. Anxiety and depression would come and go with hormonal changes.

When I was pregnant with my second child, my daughter, I was sick every morning with nausea.  After 6 months of pregnancy, I had gained only 6 pounds. Ultrasounds showed that the baby was growing normally, but I was losing weight. At that point, I also could see blood clots on my leg. I was placed on bed rest. By the 8th month, my water broke and my daughter was born. She was jaundiced and placed under UV light for a week. I also stayed in the hospital for a week dehydrated, with blood clots, and with the “baby blues”. We left the hospital after a week, and she had a “normal” development. However, you could see that she was a baby that would not go with anyone, not even the people close to us, indicating some anxiety.

Daughter’s Early Health Issues: Selective Mutism, Asthma, Concentration Issues

When my daughter turned four years old, we moved out of state and that is when she stopped talking outside the house. I later found out that it is called selective mutism, a form of severe social anxiety. She started seeing a school counselor to try to help with her anxiety and self-esteem issues. I brought a girl scout group to my house so that she could start having friends and talk to others in her area of comfort. She also developed asthma and needed nebulizer/albuterol treatments frequently and daily QVAR for prevention. She was given Singulair, but it made her very depressed. Her grades in all classes were all over, from A to D.  She would spend the whole time after school trying to complete homework, but she couldn’t. Her teacher told me that she really did not have that much homework. I would ask her to watch the dog eating and to take her outside as soon as the dog finished but she would be wandering around the kitchen and could not pay attention to the dog. Her neurologist gave her Strattera and that helped a little. Her EGG also showed some abnormal activity. The doctor recommended anti-seizure medicine and said that she was probably having mal-petit seizures. I refused medication based on how she reacted to Singulair and because the doctors were using words like “probably” and “just in case”. I kept an eye on her and noticed when she ate ice cream and got asthma. I had her stop sugars and dairy.  Soon after that, a teacher called me, excited to tell me that my daughter was talking at school. She also was able to stop all asthma medication except for 2 weeks every year when seasonal allergies would hit. At this point, it had been already four years since she stopped talking outside our house. She started excelling in all classes and we were able to stop Strattera. However, the continuous anxiety remained.

The Teenage Years: Continuous Migraine, More Medications, and No Answers

At 16 years old, she got a cold that turned into asthma with a continuous headache that just would not go away. She started waking up every day with a migraine, depressed with no energy. We had to wait three months to see a pediatric neurologist. Meanwhile, I would take her to my chiropractor early in the morning, give her an Excedrin, and she would go to school whenever she felt better. She began drinking at least 2 cups of coffee every day to help with the pain. Sometimes she would go to school at 11am, sometimes at 1pm. Even if there was just one class left, she would go to school. At this point, she felt that she wouldn’t have a future.

When we finally went to the neurologist, he recommended amitriptyline. I had been on amitriptyline and woke up one day not knowing which year or season was, but I was told that the issue was the high dose given to me (125mg), after decades of it increasing it every year. I agreed as long as it was a low dose.  Amitriptyline lessened the continuous headache, but it was not really gone, and she still needed some Excedrin. She started daily aspirin as well. She was just getting by day to day trying to manage her pain and mood and trying to have a normal teenage life.

Increasing Weakness When Outdoors: Untangling Root Causes

She became very weak whenever we would go to the beach or to a park. We would have to drag her indoors and give her water. On some occasions, she would say that she could not see. Somehow, she successfully managed to graduate from high school. We started seeing functional doctors. We found that she had some variants related to mitochondria dysfunction, but we really didn’t know how to address this. We also found out that she had Hashimoto’s and antibodies against intrinsic factors, which was indicative of pernicious anemia. We knew right there, that she had issues that conventional doctors had missed.

We also did a Dutch test and found that all of her hormones were high. The functional doctors suggested sublingual B12, folinic acid, and a B complex. She said the vitamins made her feel awake for the first time. However, chronic fatigue was still a major struggle for her. Eventually, she had to stop folinic acid because it made her depressed and unmotivated. Meanwhile, she managed her anxiety with herbs, but it was a real struggle.  She also continued to have asthma requiring albuterol every fall season. She chose a very challenging career in cell biology with biochemistry. She went through college with many cups of coffee just to control migraines, have energy, and be alert.

Discovering Her POTS Symptoms

The summer of 2019, before her senior year of college, the nurse checked her vitals as part of her new summer internship. The nurse thought the pulse monitor was broken because her heart rate was 120 sitting down. After a few minutes, it went down to 99, so the nurse dismissed it. When she told me that, I started paying attention to her heart rate. We went to her physician and neurologist and in both instances, her heart rate was 100, just sitting down waiting for the doctor. I asked if it was normal, and they said that it was in the upper range but not a concern. I was still concerned and made an appointment with a cardiologist but also bought her an iwatch. She noticed right away how her standing heart rate would be over 100, and by only taking a few steps, her heart rate would go even higher and she would become fatigued and even dizzy. From the heart rate monitor on her iwatch, we could see how quickly her heart rate would climb upon standing and then slow a bit when sitting.

That is when I remember that I have read about POTS and hypermobile people. I remember that when she was a child, the neurologist had said that she was hypermobile, but never said that it could be a problem for her. It just seemed like a fun thing to have. I started asking in health groups and someone mentioned that her medications could also cause high heart rate. I searched and amitriptyline did have that side effect.  That is when my daughter showed me that her resting heart rate was in the 90s and it would fluctuate from 29 to 205 without exercising. When we went to the cardiologist and explained all of this, he said that he did not even know how to diagnose POTS because it is rare. He did testing and said that the heart was fine but there was some inefficiency due to some valve leaking but that it usually does not cause symptoms. I asked about amitriptyline and he confirmed that it could raise heart rate.  At that point, she stopped amitriptyline and her maximum heart rate was 180 instead of 205.

She went back to her last year of college when Covid hit. She came back home and we could see the lack of energy and how much doing any little thing or stress would crash her for days. Since I needed glutathione for chemical sensitivities, I decided to see if it would help her. Glutathione with co-factors helped her recover, instead of crashing for days, she would recover the next day. That is when she told me that every time she walked to school, she felt that she would pass out. When she gets up in the morning, she ends up lying on the floor because of dizziness. Despite her dizziness, daily muscle pain, daily migraines, and chronic fatigue, she had big dreams. She just kept pushing through day by day, with coffee, herbs, and whatever it took, but she knew that something had to change. She successfully graduated in May, Magna Cum Laude, and she had a couple of months to deal with her health before she would leave to start her graduate studies and research job. That is when I found people that knew about Dr. Marrs’ work and thiamine, and her life finally changed.

Introducing Thiamine and Other Micronutrients: Navigating the Paradox

A functional doctor recommended magnesium and niacin for her migraines and they significantly helped. This gave the functional doctor the idea to try tocotrienols. High doses of tocotrienols worked better for reducing her migraine pain than amitriptyline and aspirin combined. Then she started taking high doses of B6. This helped her muscle pain and improved her mobility. Despite being hypermobile, easy stretches gave her intense muscle cramps prior to starting B6. Guided by very knowledgeable researchers belonging to Dr. Marrs’ Facebook group, Understanding Mitochondrial Nutrients, we started Allithiamine. The first thing she said was “wait, the sun does not hurt?”.  I asked her what she meant.  She explained that all her life, being in the sun gave her pain in her eyes and forehead and that she couldn’t understand why people wanted to be outside. No wonder she never wanted to go outside. She also said her migraines were gone. We have waited 4 years to hear that!

After just a couple of days, she started having a lot of nausea and lower-intensity migraines returned.  The researchers knew right away that she needed more potassium. She started to eat apricots, coconut water, or orange juice every time she had nausea and it helped. However, it was happening every hour so we decided to try a different Thiamine. We tried half Lipothiamine and Benfotiamine but she didn’t feel as much benefit and still gave her issues. We went back to 1/10 of Allithiamine. Chatting with the researchers, one asked if she also experienced blinding episodes. Yes! Finally, someone that knew about that! They recommended B2 and we started it. That’s when we discovered that her pain in the sun and dizziness were caused by a B2 deficiency. She continued waking up with crashes needing potassium every hour. She did not sleep that week. The researchers suggested taking cofactors including the rest of the B vitamins, phosphate salts, phospholipids, and beef organs. Beef organs and phospholipids helped with energy and bloating, phosphate salts helped with nausea and irritability.

Then researchers suggested that she needed to stabilize sugars and have more meat. That is when we realized that she had some type of hypoglycemia. We had noticed that she would get very tired and got shaky hands if she didn’t eat. Functional doctors had mentioned that she may have reactive hypoglycemia since she had a fasting glucose of 70. She started having more meat to stabilize her sugars and removed all packaged foods, sugars, grains, and starches. She started having just fresh meat, veggies, rice, beans, nuts, and berries. She felt that she was so much better with beef that she started using it for potassium between meals and bedtime.

She was able to increase allithiamine little by little. She would mix a little bit with orange juice since it tasted so awful. Little by little, she started having fewer crashes and feeling better. It took a month for her to be able to tolerate one capsule of Allithiamine. She was sleeping more but not the whole night. That is when our functional doctor suggested supporting adrenals. That really helped but then she began having stomach pain and nausea after eating beef and developed frequent diarrhea. Chicken always increased her hunger and reduced her energy compared to beef and but now she was afraid of having beef. She stopped all sources of beef and phospholipids.

We consulted a very good functional doctor. She did Nutraeval and confirmed that all her B vitamins were low or deficient and recommended TUDCA and Calcium D Glucarate along with trying lamb and bison first. Both helped in reducing bloating/nausea and she was able to start eating lamb and bison along with reintroducing a minimal amount of carbs. Soon after, she was eating beef again with no pain.  After starting TUDCA, her bilirubin levels were normal for the first time in her life. We continued to work with the functional doctor to fix other deficiencies.

Recovery from Multiple Nutrient Deficiencies and the Prospect of a Normal Life

After Allithiamine and vitamin B2, we worked with our functional doctor to balance the remaining B vitamins. She is now able to go out in the sun without bothering her eyes and without passing out. She gained weight after starting the B vitamins and began looking healthier, compared to how skinny and underdeveloped she looked before. She also learned how to manage electrolytes. She sometimes needs more sodium, but other times needs more potassium. She feels sick when electrolytes get out of balance. Although she still had some continuous pressure in her head, she no longer needs any amitriptyline, aspirin, or Excedrin for pain. One thing that remained problematic was folate deficiency. She still became depressed with folinic acid, so she tried methylfolate instead. She felt so unmotivated that preferred not to have it, but she realized that it was key to something that she struggled with all her life: anxiety. She figured that she could have methylfolate every other day, so that she could have less anxiety.

Now, for the first time, she began to have a normal life. She can now exercise daily without dizziness and her heart rate skyrocketing.  Her heart rate in general is more normal, doesn’t go down to 29 or up to 205. She had not had any asthma requiring albuterol.  She started driving without having to deal with anxiety and panic attacks.  She was able to walk to her office without fainting.  She now can now live alone dealing with the stress of having a full-time job, graduate classes, cooking her food, and exercise every day! She is not cured completely but for a person that once thought she couldn’t have a future, she is doing pretty darned good!

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More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, and like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

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This article was published originally on July 22, 2021. 

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The Power of Repetition for Improving Brain Function

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Through personal experience and research, I have gained insight into the power of repetitive thoughts and behaviors in creating new neural pathways and forcing the brain to “rewire” itself. This has occurred within my brain as I recovered both physically and mentally after suffering from a cerebellar stroke. Repetition of activity and repetition of thoughts retrain the brain. I will delve into each subject separately, as they are both similar, yet use different avenues to achieve results

Regaining Physical Capacity After My Stroke

In November 2002, I found myself in a coma following a massive cerebellar stroke. This was after 13 years of other issues. The stroke was precipitated by a suicide attempt, one of many over the course of 13 years of poor mental health, drug and alcohol use, anorexia, and bulimia. Details of my story can be found here.  With that stroke, I lost all ability to move. Even swallowing was difficult. At that time, I did not know how to recover and the physicians did not appear to think recovery was possible. In fact, the possibility of the long-term training of my brain’s neuroplasticity was mentioned as a mere afterthought by my neurological team. I will admit that at the time this was not something I was overly concerned with initially either. I was simply trying to survive.

At some point, however, I became aware of the fact that the cans of soup I was lifting for physical therapy seemed incredibly easy to lift. Of course, this was gradual and after months of training. It was then though that I realized that minimal retraining of these neurons could yield such results. Research supports this. Here is some of the science behind the post-stroke improvement of the neural pathways pertaining to motor skills.

Over time, I recognized that many years of consistent repetitive physical activity, in my case weightlifting, has retrained the neurological damage acquired by my brain in ways greater than was remotely expected to be achievable without the use of pharmaceuticals, which given my history, I was none too keen to take. I am happy to say that I have yet to take any drugs to treat my extreme neurological symptoms. Instead, I trained, day in and day out. The simple act of repetition and strength building seems to have re-trained my brain. I am now able to walk, talk, and swallow. This took upwards of 17 years to achieve, an exceedingly long and arduous process, but it was well worth the avoidance of medicinal side effects.

In addition to the physical training, I found that supplementation with certain vitamins, such as thiamine, a strong multivitamin, vitamin C, and vitamin D daily, has allowed me to achieve that which dumbfounds scientists and doctors. Vitamins, supplementation, and strenuous physical activity are looked down on by most professionals. I guess things like proper nutrition and exercise are not considered scientific. They work, though. At least for me, they did.

Hopefully, my medical journey will challenge the current medical perspective, and if not, inspire other similarly afflicted individuals to pursue alternative approaches. I have dealt with a cerebellar stroke, anorexia, bulimia, cyclothymia, substance abuse, dialysis, coma, and spinocerebellar ataxia, to name a few of my physical ailments, but I am doing extremely well, despite it all. This is contrary to what was expected of me by my physicians. Frankly, many still cannot believe what I have achieved. Research supports my success. From Neuroplasticity after Traumatic Brain Injury – Translational Research in Traumatic Brain Injury:

The central nervous system (CNS) retains an innovative ability to recover and adapt secondary compensatory mechanisms to injury. The basis of recovery stems from neuroplasticity. This is defined as the ability of neuronal circuits to make adaptive changes on both a structural and functional level, ranging from molecular, synaptic, and cellular changes to more global network changes. The adult brain was traditionally thought to be stagnant, with neuroplasticity confined to cortical development.

Although traumatic brain injuries differ in some ways from stroke, the principles of neuroplasticity remain. The key to retraining the brain is simple repetition. That, along with other supportive influences like diet, nutrition, and of course, no small degree of mental fortitude, is, in my opinion, far more important than medication.

Rewiring Thoughts and Emotions

The concept of creating new neural pathways in the mental and emotional portion of the brain is the most important aspect of this particular subject for me. I have more experience, personally, with this than my physical situations. In 1990, I began down a path of mental self-destruction. Years of depression turned into bouts of psychosis. I attempted to vanquish the mental torment through heavy drug and alcohol use, which was compounded with severe anorexia and bulimia. I was admitted to countless hospitals, treatment centers, and alcohol and drug rehabilitation centers between 1995-2002. I attempted to commit suicide 5 times between 1995-and 2003. The pain I felt from existence was so unbearable that I could not fathom the thought of mortal existence. I suffer from genetic mental illness. This has been an ailment in my family lineage for as long as there have been historical records. It should be noted that many of the mentally ill members of my family have been or are, incredibly intelligent. There is a commonality with those I have interacted with. During our suffering, we repeatedly told ourselves similar things. A lifetime of imprinting our minds with these statements ultimately led to feelings of futility and attempted or completed suicide. The following was ingrained on our psyche, through years of reiteration and brain imprint: “CAN’T”, “NEVER”, “IMPOSSIBLE”.

I remember the specific day that changed my life. On December 15, 2013, I had enough of it all. I was no longer suicidal yet was hit with this realization that my mental health was taking such an enormous toll on me physically and if I did not completely change, mentally, I would not remain alive for very much longer at all. It should be noted that there are countless people throughout the world who have dealt with or are currently dealing with situations parallel to mine. These people remain in the shadows, but trust that the amount of emotional pain they feel or have felt mimics my own.

As would be imagined, by 2003 regular visits to psychologists and counselors had become a routine part of my existence. On the aforementioned date of that monumental decision, I was in some sort of confused state as to “how” I would retrain my brain like I was retraining my body. I quickly recalled an idea mentioned to me by a psychologist regarding retraining neural pathways. I instantly searched keywords online and was inundated with stories, scientific studies, and articles written by prestigious medical professionals. This was, undoubtedly, an extremely effective tool. As I dug deeper, the concept behind this method seemed attainable. I had spent my life reinforcing negative beliefs and thoughts in my mind. Over the years, the negative self-enforcement had imprinted itself deep within my psyche. I need to reverse this and imprint more positive thoughts.

My entire life, I had plied myself with pharmaceuticals and had found no relief. These medications made matters worse. I had somehow come to rely on and believe that these drugs would “fix” me. In pursuing the medical model, I had turned my life over to medicine, and as consequence, did not understand the concept of responsibility for my own life. If I was to retrain my mind, this had to change. I had become responsible for my own life. I began by doing some intense psychological work.

I upped my counseling session to twice a week and realized that the only way I would truly be able to undergo this retraining would be through honesty. Blatant honesty. Not only with my therapist, but with myself. I had to break down the barriers that had barred my mind from receiving any type of positive self-talk. At some point, my counselor and I created a personal mantra:

“Nothing in my life has been a waste.”

This brought a sense of relief. I repeated this to myself ad nauseum. The underlying reasons for my suffering began to seem less invasive and not quite as severe as once thought. I was able to ascertain meaning in my life. Another enormous thing I began to do was to accept compliments. I had become accustomed to rejecting and deflecting them. Self-deprecation had become my normal. Through acceptance of others’ positive views of myself, I was able to view myself more positively.

I was not prepared for the mental shock of quickly switching my thoughts to positive. I feel it necessary to relay this, everything was worth it. The pain, the tears, the hard internal work, it was a small price to pay. The feeling I have now is worth every moment of strife that I experienced initially. This is the recount of my experience. The following are some articles to back up my personal experience, as it is that. My personal experience. Also searchable are more complex experiments, data, and peer-reviewed articles. I challenge the reader to research “neural pathways,” study the idea, be your own mental health advocate, and, if fitting, discuss the concept with your health provider.

You may be surprised by the results!

Here are some articles to consider to begin your journey.

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Silent Death – Serotonin Syndrome

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It started very slowly; at an almost non-existent rate. My mother, then about 84 years old, broke her ankle. She had been extremely active, playing table tennis regularly in a senior club; she was also a bridge champion almost all her life. She even joined online bridge groups and beat everyone on the internet too. When they asked how old she was, her partners and competitors just flipped that she was in her 80s and a bridge champion. She was sharp as a tack!

The ankle that broke needed surgery with plates and screws. She was restricted to bed for 6 months and then to wheelchair for life. While her ankle was healing she was in bed and could not play bridge, she lost her skills and partner. She was also dependent on others and became depressed. I would rather say she was angry with life for what happened to her rather than depressed but she insisted that she was depressed. She paid a visit to a neurologist begging for an antidepressant.

The neurologist prescribed half of the smallest possible dose of Mirtazapine, a simple serotonin that on its own is capable causing major damage but she received a very small dose. As she started taking the medicine, very tiny changes developed in her personality but they were so mild as to almost unnoticeable. In retrospect, we see what happened – hindsight is always 20/20.

First Signs of the Impending Doom

The first sign that she had too much serotonin in her brain was that rather than feeling calmer and happier she became more agitated; she was unhappy with people around her, criticized everything, nothing was good enough. Then bowel incontinence started and she had trouble holding her stool until she reached the bathroom; her bowel incontinence further limited where she dared going so she felt angrier. She became very easy to irritate and was pissed at the whole world.

What I have just described took four years to evolve so we did not see the connection of all these changes to the serotonin medicine. Then one day as I was refilling her medicine, the drugstore ran out of Mirtazapine and they placed her on an SSRI called Zoloft instead—the doctor changed her prescription.

An SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) is a very different medicine from the old small dose serotonin my mother received. While Mirtazapine merely provided a small extra dose of serotonin to the brain, Zoloft forced her brain to make serotonin 24/7.

How SSRIs Work in the Brain

To understand what SSRIs do, envision a sink with an overflow hole on the top, in case you left the water running. This will allow the extra water to flow back into the drain and if you have an automated sink that is connected to this backflow, the sink would know it is full and would turn the faucet off. This little overflow hole in the brain cell is called reuptake. It does exactly what the overflow does. If it senses that enough serotonin was made, it shuts down serotonin manufacturing of the cell until it senses that more is needed. However, SSRIs inhibit the reuptake receptor, i.e. plug it up. Just as your sink will flood your house with water if the overflow is plugged up, so does the brain fill up with serotonin as long as the reuptake is inhibited. This makes the brain cell manufacture serotonin forever, regardless how much is needed and how much it already has made. Reuptake inhibitors serotonin syndrome

Only a small percentage of serotonin is made in the brain, less than 10%, and 90% is in other parts of the body. The intestinal tract uses most of the serotonin to pass the food through the intestines with proper speed—this explains why having too much serotonin in one’s body causes bowel incontinence. Serotonin also functions as part of memory and cognition, and it is also a vasoconstrictor. Serotonin is a dangerous substance that predisposes the patient to diabetes 2. Thus it is no surprise, in retrospect, that we saw changes slowly from Mirtazapine but very fast changes as my mother was moved to take an SSRI. Suddenly changes took place at a drastic pace:

  • Day one of the change to SSRI was a confusion day. She was clearly agitated, confused, and bowel incontinence became a permanent feature
  • Day two she was angry staring up at the ceiling all day in bed, refused to eat or do anything. The commode had to be moved into the bedroom though she barely made it that far without accident.
  • Day 3 she fought the whole world, nothing was right. She set in a corner totally agitated
  • Day 4 she called me on her cell phone at 5 am (we lived in the same house, with me right above her) asking when breakfast was served in this house. I rushed down and found her sitting at the edge of her bed in total confusion. I put her back in bed and told her breakfast will be served at 9 am so she should go back to sleep.
  • Day 5 is when the moment of recognition hit me. She called me again on the cell phone at 5 am. I ran downstairs. She was seated at the edge of her bed, totally naked with her bathrobe barely on. Her entire closet was on the floor; she pulled everything off every single hanger and shelf. I ran up to get the blood pressure meter. Her blood pressure was so high the cuff gave me error twice before I was finally able to read her blood pressure. The systolic was over 180 (120 is ideal), I don’t remember the diastolic but it was over 100. I called the ambulance and off she went to the hospital.

In the hospital, I tried to tell every doctor what her history was with the SSRI. I am a medically trained professional in neuroscience and though not a medical doctor but a researcher, I can identify a serotonin syndrome when I see one as long as I know the history that led up to it.

For my biggest surprise, and why I am writing this article, is that physicians rarely recognize serotonin syndrome. No one believed me when I told them that I suspected that my mother was suffering from serotonin syndrome. No one listened to me when I asked that they test for serotonin syndrome. I received comments like this from a psychiatrist: “Your mother cannot have serotonin syndrome, it is too rare.” Serotonin syndrome is not rare but the doctors who identify it are, and he was one of the many who did not recognize serotonin syndrome when he saw it. Another doctor told me that “she may have serotonin syndrome but we cannot test for that and cannot treat for it.” In fact, testing and treatment are both available for serotonin syndrome. The problem is with the doctors who do not ask any questions and only make assumptions based on the patient’s age (she was 88 at this time) using profiling assume that anyone over the age of 80 must have dementia. They diagnosed my mother with Alzheimer’s type dementia (something we were able to see via autopsy to have been the wrong diagnosis). She was misdiagnosed and mistreated with the wrong medicines until she died. There was nothing I could do. I suspect that for those of you who are not scientists like I am, the task is even more daunting. So prepare for the fight of a lifetime.

Unfortunately, the symptoms of many illnesses or conditions resemble that of the symptoms of serotonin syndrome. The surest way of knowing if you or your loved one has serotonin syndrome, is if serotonin medicines have been taken for a long time and symptoms slowly worsened over time or if new serotonin medicine was just introduced. If three of the following symptoms appear, take the patient to the nearest hospital via ambulance immediately, stand guard and get ready for a fight to save a life!

  • Agitation or restlessness
  • Confusion
  • Rapid heart rate and high blood pressure
  • Dilated pupils
  • Loss of muscle coordination or twitching muscles
  • Muscle rigidity
  • Heavy sweating
  • Diarrhea
  • Headache
  • Shivering
  • Goose bumps
  • High fever
  • Seizures
  • Irregular heartbeat
  • Unconsciousness

The importance of this long introduction is that today more people take SSRIs than ever before hence the increased odds of ending up with serotonin syndrome, and that serotonin syndrome is misdiagnosed. More people take multiple types of SSRIs or mix SSRIs and other medicines with serotonin, such as triptans that are so often prescribed for migraineurs. Serotonin syndrome is fatal if it is not attended to very quickly. Unfortunately, it was indeed fatal for my mother.  I run a large migraine group and one of the first things each member has to do is answer a few questions via private messaging. One of the questions is about the list of medications they take. I go through every single medicine and provide a full analysis and if I find they are at risk of serotonin syndrome they are given all information to talk to their doctors. A very large percent of the new migraineurs joining take two or more serotonin medicines at once. Checking for possible serotonin syndrome is essential.

Additional information to help you to select a good hospital for your care: Medicare has created a program aiming to reduce mismanagement of patient care. They provide a score to each hospital based on the number of mismanaged cases, which includes hospital induced delirium as well as other cases. Hospital induced delirium is the new name for serotonin syndrome in many hospitals and you may find it listed as the official cause of death. Medicare assigns a score to each type of condition and sums up the incidences of misdiagnosis and mismanagement per hospital. Those hospitals that rank over the 75 percentile receive a reduction of payment from Medicare until they improve the care.

I wish that doctors were just as well trained in recognizing serotonin syndrome as they are trained to write prescriptions for serotonin. Since doctors are so unaware on how to recognize serotonin syndrome and because the consequence of that oversight is fatal, it is best to consider your options carefully before accepting serotonin prescriptions. Serotonin medicines are prescribed for everything, but when we look at what they actually help is very minimal.

To get serotonin without medicines, eat those foods that put you to sleep after lunch: turkey has lots of serotonin. Head out to the sun. Sun releases serotonin. If you live in a cold region where sun is rare in the winter, invest in a home sun-lamp. The light it releases initiates serotonin release in your body. Enjoy a pleasant walk; go shopping; watch children play in a park; go to social gatherings. Anywhere full of happy friends or people in general will supply you with feel-good hormones that will help ease any depression. There are many treatments on their way for depression and one of them is the same treatment as for migraine and anxiety. Join my migraine group to learn more.

This article was published originally on Hormones Matter on November 30, 2015. 

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Clinical Depression is a Big, Fat Jerk

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In fact, if clinical depression was a guy, all your besties would arrange an epic intervention at The Cheesecake Factory to persuade you to dump his low-life ass. Huddled like quarterbacks over their plates of fried zucchini and fettuccine, they’d each shrill out her impassioned interjection:

“Girl! Get OVER it!”

“Move on!”

“You really just need to get a new relationship and get laid.”

Maybe one friend would generously offer a hard couch in her home for you to crash on. But when depression has put a ring on your finger, you don’t want anybody else’s couch. Dragging your own heavy body every day from your own bed is impossible. Finding an empathetic, capable doctor to treat you is like doing a few hundred rounds of speed dating. And every potential new partner represents just an over-the-counter vitamin- when what you really want is a hardcore-take-with-food- prescribed drug kind of guy. Will this drug be The One? The pill to last a long time and make you enormously happy?

Happy? Oh, no! We all knew THAT word would surface sooner or later. After all, everyone on those anti- depressant commercials looks elated enough to pounce off the picnic blanket, straight up to the clouds. Even radio top 40 threatens listeners to clap happily along. You can’t even zone out to Facebook without getting bombarded by sugary sweet, soul- uplifting platitudes.

“May you go from strength to strength!” That’s a pepper-upper I remember hearing long ago. I suppose it is intended to comfort you if you’re suffering from any number of life’s complicated afflictions. But in the case of clinical depression, does it really apply? I prefer to change it to something more realistic- say, “May you go from the crushing weight of deep despair to sweet mediocre OK-ness.” How can you go from strength to strength when you have no strength to go from anyway? Where’s the journey and near-joy in that?

Curious things happen when you hit rock bottom. Since sinking is no longer an option, that only leaves swim. Intuition throws a life preserver for you to catch from the murky depths of nowhere. It talks louder than the sounds of strange inner voices that constantly try to convince you that dying would be best, that “Everyone else would be better off without you.” Once you take that first breath underwater, the fight left in you will rise up again. And in that fight you’ll re-find yourself and start swimming back to clean air and daylight.

Winston Churchill compared the depression he suffered from to a Big Black Dog. I know what he meant. But I’ve also learned I can let Big Depression come, let him bound up to me, even as I marvel at his stunning ferocity from a safe distance. He closes in on me, I open my arms and close my eyes. Bathe in his severe sadness. Feel his full weight. And dance down with him until he whimpers.

I’ve found that in daring to embrace all my emotions, though I’m weak, I’m no wimp. I’ve found that I can survive meeting that Big Dog at the bottom. Then I’m on my way to OK, and being OK is a blessed place to visit. Once there, I open my eyes and take everything in, for I know I won’t be there for long. It’s all good, because now I know I don’t have to fear.

Vulnerability is beautiful; the ebb and flow of our moods is fantastically human and essential. So my friend, don’t fear.

Science is slowly catching up to us. MRI’s and blood biomarkers are pointing out new ways to diagnose depression in the body. Improved methods of treatment and medications that promise to work stronger and longer are coming in the near future. Validation is a needle-prick away.

With all this on our side, you don’t need to always “go from strength to strength”; you can go from weakness to OK. And the only “new relationship” you’ll need to help you overcome your blues will be the One you nurture with yourself.

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More people than ever are reading Hormones Matter, a testament to the need for independent voices in health and medicine. We are not funded and accept limited advertising. Unlike many health sites, we don’t force you to purchase a subscription. We believe health information should be open to all. If you read Hormones Matter, like it, please help support it. Contribute now.

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This article was published originally on May 7, 2014.

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Silent Inheritance: Are You Predisposed to Depression?

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I am excited to announce the publication of my new book, Silent Inheritance: Are You Predisposed to Depression. As a long time contributor to Hormones Matter and other publications on the benefits of Vitamin D, this book is quite a departure for me. It is personal, representing my journey through depression. As a researcher, I could not help but investigate the causes of my illness and the book is result of that work.

Depression Across the Globe

The silence of depression is deafening. Over 300 million people of all ages across the globe succumb to depression, according to the World Health Organization. Yet few truly understand this condition. And millions suffer without proper treatment.

For decades, until I suffered from this condition, I viewed it with haughty judgment as a character weakness. Was I wrong! My own experience firmly put me in my place. This illness felt like a nasty fall down the abyss of mental despair and hopelessness.

Subsequently, I connected the research dots: Depression commonly runs in families. Realizing that a few family members had suffered, I delved into genetics—mine as well as understanding the basic science. Based on my methylation profile, I found that I am predisposed to this condition.

I also discovered what triggers this illness. Simply inheriting a genetic profile does not mean that a disease process will develop. Environmental stressors, however, can turn on disease processes by expressing the related genes. Called, epigenetics, we now know that environment plays a significant role in disease expression.

Furthermore, I learned that depression may be overcome with nutritional and conventional treatments that target particular neurotransmitter deficiencies. Nutritional treatments may work when taken according to one’s methylation profile. And, with all their perceived baggage, other treatments can indeed be effective.

My New Book

Silent Inheritance is part personal journey and part guide book. My goal was to guide the reader through the genetic components of depression and provide tools to overcome genetic predispositions through nutritional and conventional means. Throughout the book, I explain the genetic and environmental factors influencing depression including many that are silently inherited from biological parents. The book provides a fresh perspective on behavior and tools to manage that behavior.

Life is too precious to ignore depression. Please remember that you are not alone.

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